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How to Get Over Your First Love – 5 Tips for Getting Over Your First Love

Getting over a break up is always hard, but figuring out how to get over your first love is the hardest. That’s because it’s not just any old break up, it’s a break up with the person who first showed you what it means to love.

You spent almost every day together and you had a lot of great times with one another. Everything was amazing and you just couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt like you finally found “the one.”

You probably thought you were going to spend the rest of your lives together and you may have even made plans for the future. This is all very normal, and actually quite typical, when you fall in love for the first time.

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end” – Benjamin Disraeli

But now that it ended, you feel devastated and heartbroken. You may be worried that you’ll never find someone again or that you’ll never be as happy with somebody else. After all, this is the first time you’ve ever felt this way, and it’s not easy to believe that you could ever feel the same way about somebody else. But you can, and if you follow the 5 simple tips below, you will.



5 Tips on How to Get Over Your First Love

how to get over your first love

1) Don’t try to get your ex back

You have to let go of the hope that you and your ex will get back together. This might be really hard because you’re still in love with them, and probably will be for a while after the break up. You may feel the urge to try to get them back or tell them that you love them.

However, you have to realize that sometimes love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. You have to remember that you guys broke up for a reason, even if you can’t really understand that reason right now. If you do, it would be helpful to recall why you broke up, what you hated about your ex or what you guys could never agree on. After a break up, we tend to remember all the things we loved about our ex and all the happy memories we had together. Recalling all the bad things about your ex and your relationship will help you “fall out of love” with them.

2) Cut off ALL communication with your ex

I know this may seem a little extreme at first but it’s the only thing that works. You simply cannot get over your ex and truly move on with your life if you guys are still friends. You have to cut all contact with your ex while you attempt to get over each other. I know it’s really hard because you feel like you’re losing your best friend and one of the only people who ever truly understood you. At first, it’s going to be tough to resist the urge to contact them but it’ll get easier and easier over time.

3) Don’t assume that you’ll never find love again

Remember that just because the relationship is over doesn’t mean that you’ll never find love again. I often hear people say things like, “there’s no way I’ll find anyone as good as my ex, they were perfect, I can’t imagine loving someone else as much as I loved them”

After having several relationships and looking back on them, I realize that some were better than others. However, it’s not really about someone being better than someone else. Every person was unique, and thanks to them, I grew into a different person. In fact, after every relationship I actually grew to want and appreciate different things.

So don’t be naïve and think that you’ll never love anyone as much as your first love. Most people fall in the love for the first time during their teens and early 20’s. You still have most of your life ahead of you to love and be loved.

You may not realize this now but as you mature and grow, so does your capacity to love. So be grateful for your first love and know that this was a very valuable experience for you. It taught you what it means to be in love and it built your capacity to love. So when you meet the love of your life, you’re going to have an even deeper connection and a much richer relationship.

4) Focus on becoming a better person

Use the break up as an opportunity to grow and become a better person. No relationship is ever a mistake if you can get something out of it, like learning something new about yourself.

You might have learned that you’re a very stubborn person. This could be a good opportunity for you to change yourself for the better, so you don’t end up recreating all the same problems in your future relationship. You might have learned that you’re a very jealous lover. Now would be a good time to deal with your insecurities so you don’t end up getting jealous in all your future relationships and creating a whole lot of unnecessary stress and drama.

5) Don’t be afraid to love again

Just because your first love didn’t work out doesn’t mean that it’ll never work out. Remember that every person is different. And every relationship dynamic will play out differently with different people, for better or worse. Every person we meet is unique and we love each person differently.

A lot of people get into another relationship really quick in attempt to fill the empty void they feel after a break up. And while it’s unhealthy to jump into another relationship for the wrong reasons, it’s equally unhealthy to avoid relationships altogether. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “I just don’t want to be hurt again?”

But being open to relationships isn’t just about opening yourself up to getting hurt again, it’s also about opening yourself up to love again. After all, past relationships aren’t just about the bad things that happened – lots of good things come out of them too.

But to love, and to experience all the good things that love brings, one must take a risk, for risk is an inevitable part of love. It is a risk that I am willing to take because I love to love. I love to get to know people. I love to share things with others and learn more about them. I love to grow and see things from a new perspective. I love having that special connection and I love experiencing that deep feeling of intimacy with the person you love. This is what makes the risk worthwhile for me.

What is it about falling in love that makes the risk worth it for you?

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below!

If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to get over your first love based on your specific situation

how to get over your first love

{ 129 comments… read them below or add one }

Mila July 26, 2011 at 6:12 am

thanks for this :)

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Anonymous September 8, 2011 at 1:41 am

glad it helped mila!

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Jocc August 10, 2011 at 2:36 am

I completely disagree with this. Don’t cut off communication. My first love did that at the end of 3 years. It’s 30 years later and I am still screwed up by it. 

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Ca August 17, 2011 at 11:17 am

Sounds like your struggle has to do with you and your issues and not your ex since your ex has been completely out of the picture for 30 years so the ex could not possibly be hurting you if you two do not even have contact. 30 years is a long time to blame and hold on to the victim mentality…I hope you are able to heal and let it go, truly move on. It is all about your own issues, your ex moved on and probably has found love again, forgive your ex and look at how you’re holding on to it, not your ex is trying to hurt you, you are in control, it has nothing to do with your ex anymore

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Anonymous August 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm

100% spot on response. couldn’t have said it better myself. glad to know there’s some wise people reading this. thanks for sharing!

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candid October 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm

If the ex made the effort to keep in touch…once in a while lead u on….then would this whole thing mean any different??

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candid October 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm

so what is that jocc…a sense of ego bruising…a sense of why din he/she love me back as much…or is there such thing as…why does it have to be so complicated….

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Jeff 19958 August 28, 2011 at 4:02 am

My Ex and i started out as best friends but i had always liked her. We dated for about A year but it didnt workout so we went back to being best friends and hung out everyday. But i started to treat her as if we were still dating and recently she has been acting very angry towrds me. She Is also telling people that she doesnt want be my friend any more. This has been very hard for me and i dont know what to do. Any advice?

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Anonymous September 8, 2011 at 1:41 am

hi jeff, what you are describing here is a very common situation when people try to be friends after a break up, which is why i advise strongly against it. ive learned it the hard way myself and have actually talked about it in great depth in one of my videos here on “why you cant be friends with your ex after a break up” and all the issues you typically run into. ie you being more attached to them than they are to you and it creating complications.

if you want more advice on how to get over your ex girlfriend, i recommend downloading a copy of my book at the link below.

http://www.howtogetoverarelationship.com/breakupbook/downloadformen.html

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candid October 14, 2011 at 1:48 pm

You know I agree its complicated…when ur more attached to someone than the other person is….I am living in a state of confusion…a sense of relief, better relationships, maturity, to understand and appreciate how i feel without wanting it, I value every bit of where and how far from it i got…..n on the other hand I don think I got thru a day without a single thot of him….on days I am sore…in pain n hurting n craving like u cant imagine….when my spouse is away..its him more on my mind than my spouse…wake up from dreams where the sexual energy gets so maddening you have to wake up to get a grip…..

Where is the solution…where is understanding this emotion…I mean no harm…i dont want it back…i love unconditionally…i understand it takes way more than love to be happy….know his negatives and positives for what they are…BUT cant get rid of it….Just cant…N iam saying this after 15years of being away from him ….(met twice in this period and an occasional mail or chat…once in months if we run in…nuthing mushy)

So is keeping this window communication open the reason for such a strong sense of presence???

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Nickhartness September 5, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Me and my ex broke up about a month and a half ago. We were each others first everything. We dated for 3 years and now we go to the same college. I literally can’t move on. I feel like I lost the best thing to ever happen to me. She’s already moved on and I just don’t know what to do. How will I ever be as happy as I once was?

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Ahinks24 September 6, 2011 at 3:25 am

yo. i was with my girl for 3 years as well. and she just went away to live at college… and im going into the marines. we are going our separate ways. the year before tho we both commuted to the same college. it was like lame. that sucks that ur goin to the same college but u just gotta try other girls and have fun. be with ur friends all the time and do shit to keep u busy. dont let yourself think too much u kno? i let myself do that and it brings me down. but when im working out or with my friends i feel 10x better. do shit and have fun cause u kno shes gonna be doing the same. maybe love will find u guys again later on. let things settle into place on their own and it’ll be aight brotha

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Ahinks24 September 6, 2011 at 3:25 am

i forgot to say me and my girl were our first everythings as well. 8th grade to first year in college.

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Nickhartnesa September 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

How do I handle seeing her with a new guy? I still can’t seem to let go even though she seems like she is over me and happier than ever

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Ahinks24 September 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

fuck her. she knows shes gonna be missing you. thats what i say to myself about my girl… i know shes gonna miss me after a while, even if she fools with other guys or not… delete her from ur facebook, phone, and everything man… its hard but time will do its part. also thinking about the bad things helps get over her… i do that sometimes and then im like alright im glad im not with her anymore. but then i think about good times and just like you know im happy i had my time with her… its tough straight up… time will do its part tho. being with your friends a lot helps too. gets your mind off shit. 

Anonymous September 8, 2011 at 1:38 am

i actually went through a breakup myself 2 weeks ago and my ex was seeing a new guy and “in love” within a week after the break up. it sucks but it is what it is. focus on the reasons why you dont want to be with her in the first place. being jealous or hurt over someone you dont even want in the first place is a waste of your time.

i know its much easier said than done but hopefully this is a helpful reminder. i share a lot of techniques in my book to help with this particular issue (dealing with your ex moving on so quick and being with someone else). theres a good exercise in one of the chapters in my book.

http://www.howtogetoverarelationship.com/breakupbook/downloadformen.html

Charchar1994 March 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

i think you are a great person for being senstive and yes its going to be hard to find that girl who will take her place but you know i know that it is to see your ex move on with someone else and you have to sit back and see her smile when you have to pretend your ok even when you still love her i only hope that you will be happy too. you owe it to youiself for happiness.

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Kate September 6, 2011 at 4:24 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and I am still struggling to let go of the idea that we could get back together. He started acting weird several months before he broke up with me so I kinda saw it coming and I knew that the reason he wanted to break up was because he wanted to go out with this other girl he’d known a long time. So 3 days before my birthday and before he left for the Marines, he told me. Anyways, I’m now feeling that I might like another guy but I’m afraid to jump back in cause I still feel like I care for my ex and I don’t feel ready to date again. any thoughts?

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Ahinks24 September 7, 2011 at 3:06 am

if you really wanna, try the other guy.. u kno? and if it feels wrong or whatever just stop and give urself time.. if he is goin to the Marines pshhh u kno he aint doing shit with girls for a long time.. im going in a month. haha god bless him though. but u kno give urself time to maybe let it go or whatever. if you dont feel ready to date again and stuff then give urself more time before u do that. 

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Anonymous September 8, 2011 at 1:35 am

hi kate, i’m sorry to hear about what happened. seems like your intuition was right all along and you could sense it coming to an end. listen to your intuition here again and dont feel pressured to jump into something if you don’t feel like you’re ready for yet. it would just be a rebound relationship and you still have feelings for your ex. you can always just date him casually and work on letting go of your feelings for your ex.

dating someone who appreciates you will remind you that you are still attractive and will make you feel appreciated, which i’m sure your ex has failed to make you feel at times. ideally, you would want this feeling of self-worth to come from within but it definitely does help to have someone there who does like you for who you are to remind you that you are worthy of love and have a lot to offer.

if you want more help getting over your ex boyfriend, i recommend downloading a copy of my book at the link below

http://www.howtogetoverarelationship.com/breakupbook/downloadforwomen.html

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Kate September 9, 2011 at 1:24 am

Thank you very much. See here’s the thing, everything with my ex was perfect. I mean he was seriously the model guy. It was perfect and our relationship was absolutely perfect and it was strange, it was like it wasn’t until this girl he’s been good friends with came out that everything went away. But she had said that they barely talked to each other much and she lives in a different state. I think our relationship may have started to quickly but….I don’t know I thought we had something special.

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Charchar1994 March 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

but not always will there be someone there that will have the same emotions for you like the guy you thought was Mr.Right when no such thing exists really its a pigment of our imagination that makes us create a list for someone who will be thpose things which we shall not do becuase the fact is we cant help who we have feelings for we just need to takit one step ar a time/,. there is someone out there for everyone but let that love find you.

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Jose September 7, 2011 at 7:41 am

i recently broke up with my ex and god does it hurt, what makes it worse was that i pushed everything aside for her. I ended up making her my world and when it ended i had nothing left for myself. It’s damn hard to get over her. Hell i dont even do the things that i enjoy cause we did them together. It all just reminds me of her. I know that eventually i will get over her but damn why can’t this be over?

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Anonymous September 8, 2011 at 1:32 am

sorry to hear man, i can definitely relate to what you’re going through. making them the center of your world is a huge part of what drives women to break up with guys. they sense that you become dependent on them for their happiness and it becomes too big of a burden for them to deal with. i’ve got several posts about this on here and talk about it a lot in my book.

http://www.howtogetoverarelationship.com/breakupbook/downloadformen.html

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chicagoguest November 23, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Hello – Just because you…

ate __________ (blank)
watched __________ (blank)
enjoyed __________ (blank)
laughed @ __________ (blank)
.
…..with you ex, doesn’t me you can’t today, or tomorrow ….. with or without someone else.

I looked at a can of sloppy joe mix in my pantry the other day and had that realization :)
Didn’t make me miss him any less, it just made me realize that I’m not giving up my favorite things just because he and I didn’t work out.  Hang in there; I’m trying to do the same.

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Heartbroken Mofo September 10, 2011 at 10:48 am

my girl broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. i simply dont understand why. i did everything i could to make her happy and i made her my world but for some reason she said that she didnt see the relationship going anywhere and i just dont understand what i’d done wrong. and it seems like she’s moved on and carrying on with life as usual but for some reason i can’t seem to move on. its just everything reminds me of her

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LookingForHappiness3 September 14, 2011 at 8:29 pm

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend because we were constantly fighting and it was too stressful. it is the hardest thing to deal with because i was used to spending every minute with him and everything reminds me of him too… i know how you feel “/

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Larah116 September 10, 2011 at 1:04 pm

well, me and my first real boyfriend broke up 2 months ago. we have known eachother since we were 10 years old. i was his first girlfriend, but the kind you have when you’re just a kid. so we had this special connection. suddenly i saw him from a whole different angle and i fell in love with him, that was 4 years ago. but he wasn’t interesseded then. i tryed not to see him anymore but that was difficuld because he doesn’t live far from me. so everytime i saw hime again, i fell in love with him all over again. i knew that nothing could ever happen between us because he wasn’t interesseded so i never said something. it was a year ago that i last saw him when a friend of mine asked me to go with her to the place he lived because we had nothing to do and she’s friends with him. at first i hassetaded but then i tought ‘well what could go wrong, i mean my feelings are almost gone so what the hell’. we were waiting for him on a bench and when i finnaly saw him i fell in love with him all over again… we had a graet time that day, i even stayed longer then my friend. he was really happy to see me again he said. he’s not really suddle so it was kinda obvius to see that he was flirting with me, even his friends saw it. after that day he asked if i wanted to come again and i went a couple of times. it was a sunday evening and it was about time for me to go home but he didn’t want to let me go, i didn’t mind ofcourse. and then he kissed me. it may sound corny but that was absolutely the most beautiful moment of my life! so then we were together for 3months. i know, its not very long but believe me, it seemed longer when you have that feeling. well, at the ending we used to figt alot so that was the reason we broke up. we both tought it would be better for us. we actually said that we would take a break but i knew he didn’t mean that ofcourse.back then i was releaved to be done with all the drama. i quiqly met someone else but that didn’t work because it was then that i realized that i wasn’t over my ex. with time it became worse and worse and now i’m dessperade. i cry almost every day. i still hear him sometimes and we are still friends, but i realy want to try again. i’m afraid to tell him so i’m not gonna. but my friend, that same friend from the beginning, talkted to him and he said that he didn’t want a relationship right now so that’s kinda hard to hear. now, i desided to realy forget him because it’s realy hard for me. there’s also someone else that wants me but i’m not sure if i should take that chance if i’m still thinking about my ex. i’m sorry if i bore you but i just realy need to tell someone my story that knows about this stuff. i hope you can help me or something because i could really use it. i’m sorry if some words are written wrong but i’m from belgium so…

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Sammi101 September 29, 2011 at 3:56 am

Oh my gosh… almost the same EXACT thing happened to me… except the last time we broke up was because he said his mom didn’t like me. it was two months ago and i’m still crying about it. he has another girlfriend now, and i’m afraid that he is falling in love with HER because he had already dated her a few times when they were in middle school, and now they are going out again.  ): </3

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Larah116 October 10, 2011 at 3:55 pm

ouh, i know how you feel! but hey, that tip that says that you should cut off all communication really works. you should defenitly do that. it will be hard at first because you’ll want to see his profile or something just to see what he’s been up to, but just do it! i’ve done it and it’s really going better now. i still think about him off course but less.. just think in your head that you will meet someone else, and even better! i’ts no use to sit around and cry all the time, i’ve learned that. i’m not saying you can’t but there will come a time that you should move on. and when that time comes you’ll know it ;) hang in there!

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Yakool_sarah September 15, 2011 at 3:27 am

I myself have went through this sort of situation and I have trouble letting go completely. I like still being there friend because I told them I would always, but for my recent guy that I might have loved I’am trying to get over him now and he keeps sending me stuff on fb like just requests on games but like I texted him and no responce its like he wants me to keep thinking about him and he wont let me move on! I told him I need space and no contact but iduno hes a silly person. a bitof a douche really.

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stuck girl September 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

i knw my ex for 11 yrs and we were in love… he came to my place and ask me into marriage..however my parents disagree with the engagement and call it off although i insisted to go on with the engagement..my mother disown me as her child and refused to talk to me due to that.. my ex cut off every single communication with me and before he left he said,he will make sure that i will regret for not choosing him as my husband and he will show me how happy he will be with his new girl and her family who can accept him for who he is..
till now am unable to get over him as i feel that no one will ever love me the same way like he did and no one will ever take good care of me the way he did. i feel so envious and jealous whenever i think of him with another woman having children and a great life and i’m here stuck and miserable and depressed.

he is my first love and my only love..and i cant stop thinking of him and loving him..i cant move on..

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Stephen Gnutel September 18, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Well guys/girls, this video helped me but I still feel the same as you all. My ex and I were high school sweet hearts. We grew up so much together. It was the mos amazing 3 1/2 years of my life. We had our ups and downs but she needed more time for ppl in her life besides me. Plus being her first bf she wanted to experience life from a single point of view. Not seeing other ppl but really figuring out what she needed herself. It hurts everyday to think about how much I love her but if you love something set it free and if it loves u it will be back and Better then ever. It hurts again to admit but I am ok with that fact that she did this because as it does say in the video I’m learning about myself and the things I need to change. I truely am starting to feel like I can love deeper and fuller then before cuz Ive found a reason to not just love others but love myself. And once u find that you can truly give ur self away. “whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see, kay sara sara…

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Anonymous September 20, 2011 at 7:16 am

I am in my mid twenties and dated this girl for over a year. Before her, i had never even really experienced more than a crush. we fell hard for each other one summer and we got together even though she went to school 1000 miles away. we had a great long distance relationship. i spent a couple thousand dollars to visit a few times and that was all my money being a part time student paying bills. The next summer she moved to my city to live with her parents. We spent the summer doing everything together and it was perfect. She said everything I wanted to hear about being her future husband, only love, the perfect man, etc. She had many issues when we started dating that didn’t scare me away at all. She had struggled with an eating disorder for 5 years but she finally beat it because of my support (according to her). She takes meds for depression and I never thought less of her. She cheated on her last two boyfriends but i thought i was different to her. Finally this summer she blindsided me by cheating but I took her back because she had never seemed so sorry and willing to do whatever it took to win me again. A few weeks after she started becoming distant and kept asking for a break to think about things. I refused. I dont believe in breaks so i broke up with her. I thought that would be a wake up call but we remained half together and half friends for a bit until I was tired of waiting so i said i couldnt have her in my life at all like this. The result was a few suicide threats from her and she was a mess so I had her agree to be committed to a mental hospital. She was there for two weeks and would not allow me to call or visit. After she got out, she was still very distant and I discovered she was still talking with the guy she cheated on me with after agreeing to cut all ties. She said sorry but she couldnt just stop talking with somebody she “loved as a friend”. I told her I could still be her best friend but only if he was out of the picture because it just hurt too much. She said it wasnt fair for me to make her choose friends given her depression and she wouldnt pick one of us even if it meant me leaving her life for good. So now she hangs out with him and could care less what pain im in. I have been respecting her privacy and not told anybody about the mental hospital so i have to keep it to myself. I have been a wreck for weeks because it just doesnt make sense how she could dismiss me so quickly after claiming I saved her life twice, been best friends, and was once the man she wanted to marry. The worst part is nobody i have talked to likes this guy. I get so mad that i want to do something to ruin their relationship and return the favor but i know that isnt the right thing to do. Any advice how to forgive,forget, and move on? Is a little revenge good? I already deleted her on social network sites and deleted her number but she is still stuck in my head.

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kayla kalemba October 19, 2011 at 2:26 am

The best way to forgive and forget is to remember that if was all meant to be, then she would still be with you. Revenge is never good, it makes you look petty. Dont tell people about her past cause then it will make you look like you never cared. You’re going to find someone whose never going to cheat on you, someone you can trust. It all takes time. Life has a bigger plan for you, with someone whose going to love you unconditionally. The best thing I’ve learned from failed relationships, is it teaches you to not give your heart away till you know for sure. I’m happily engaged now to a man who has been everything and more to me, it took me two years to finally get over my first love. But it can be done, If I can do it, you can too. 

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Vbcoder September 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm

What if my first love is a colleague at work? I’m convinced your article is the best thing to do and I didn’t feel comfortable when she offered me to stay as close friends. I have to see her on daily basis. Is there any remedy other than quitting my job? Hope you can respond to this

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Reeuhh September 28, 2011 at 10:16 pm

 hi all.
my (ex) boyfriend broke up with me four days ago. We had broken up before and that break up went smoother because we still talked and then he asked me out again. two years later he breaks up with me again because he cant wait another year for me to go his college. Im so sad. I havent eaten. I havent slept. I havent tried contacting him. He’s probably over it- he hasnt contacted me at all. I tried being with friends but all i do is cry. It feels like im never going to get over this. it feels like my heart is literally shattered, it feels heavy, and im so unhappy. i don’t know what to do. I just miss him. I miss him a lot . But i know this was for the best, i’m just not sure i can continue this way. I can’t keep crying

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Heartbroken September 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I feel the exact same way. My ex broke up with me exactly one week ago and I am a mess. We are freshmen in college and we are 2 hours and 40 minutes apart. He said that he needs to be alone right now to figure out who he is…but now I’m alone. I know who I am right now and I don’t need this time to be apart, so what am I supposed to do? I’m trying my best to move on but it hurts so much. I cry all the time. I talked to him the other day and he said he was doing great. I don’t understand how he can be doing great. We were together for two years and four months. How can he be over this already? Is his life really that much better without me? It hurts so bad to be without him, and it hurts even more to think that he is over me and moving on. I don’t know how to deal with this. 
I’m sorry I just told you my entire sad breakup story when I meant to respond to your story. But I guess I responded to this to just say that I understand what you’re going through. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s going to get better, I just want that to happen now. I know that this is for the best, but it’s just hard. You and I are both going to be okay. We just have to keep moving forward.
This Marilyn Monroe quote made me feel a little better, idk if it’ll help you:

“I
believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can
learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re
right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”Good luck, and remember that you’re not alone at all.

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Heartbroken September 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Also, this boy was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss, and I lost my virginity to him. He was my best friend in the entire world and he knows everything about me. So I’m not only losing him as my boyfriend, but I’m losing my best friend. It just hurts.

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Hopeful October 8, 2011 at 4:18 am

I am going through the same thing but I think I am getting over him slowly but surely. He was my first everything also, but it prepared me and matured me for a better relationship in the future whenever that will be

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kayla kalemba October 19, 2011 at 2:18 am

I fell in love when I was 19 with a guy who i tried the longest not to fall for, he was everything I wanted and more, he made me smile, he made me laugh when I was crying and i found that i was falling for him faster than ever. he lived two hours away, he was in college and i lived somewhere for work. we would see eachother every week for two days. and for a year it went on like that. I wound up moving in with my sister, which meant we were closer in distance, and then one day he stopped talking to me out of nowhere. I didn’t hear from him for 4 months and he contacted me, and i thought “oh my god! this is a sign we’re meant to be together”. We weren’t exclusive, we never were. But i couldn’t help how I felt. My sister worked with this guy and one day i told her to give him my phone number. So she did, and he called me that day. Our first date was amazing and he was this really nice, funny guy. We hung out every single day for 2 weeks. And then we started dating. Well the guy who I was in love with got wind of this and showed up at my house to tell me he was totally in love with me and he wanted nothing more than me. I dropped him and never looked back, I’m happily engaged now to the guy who my sister set me up with. And he totally loves me unconditionally. Today I woke up from a dream about my first love to a text message from him, we started talking and he told me he’s seeing someone else. Believe me it hurt me, and i cried, but then my fiance walked outside and gave me a kiss and told me he loved me, and i realized that if you have to let something go, then do just that. They always say, if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours. But why test your love twice? I take it that you’re young, I’m only 21. So i’m not some old person telling you that love will come again and you’ll get over it. because believe me, i’ve been there plenty of times with my first love. But one day, some guy is going to come along and totally sweep you off your feet, and be everything you have ever wanted.  you kiss a few frogs before you find that prince but when you do, it will all be worth it. Keep your head up sweetie, next time love finds you, it wont let you go. :)

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Girlrocks01 September 30, 2011 at 3:35 am

I was with my ex for three years. We spend every single day together besides 3 days when he helped hus brother move down to ga. So we were very attached and no doubt in love. After our one year he cheated on me, I was so hurt I decided to do the same after we started talking again…mistake # one was taking him back, mistake # two was dropping down to that level. Well he never found out about it…until our last year, witch was the reason why we broke up. This kid was my life, I took him back after he treat me like dirt simply because I loved him… after breaking up I learned that he had cheated on me multipul times…sucks right? Even though I was so in love with this kid, and every moment we were together seemed absolutely perfect…now I look back and I catch myself thinking of how much I miss him and wish we were together again, then I stop & all the bad things come out and it gets me through the day because I know I will find someone out there willing to give me the world and treat me like a princess…I know I will never get over my ex because he was my first love…but I’m thankful I now know what not to have in a relationship. Its hard but I’ve defiantly become a better stronger person from this guy! & I have hope in my future :)

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TrevorT October 6, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I was with my girlfriend for 3 years High School sweet hearts whatever the hell you want to call it She came from a poor family and was barely able to eat at times so my family took her in and took care of her like their own. She was everything to me, My friends moved to another city for college and just a week ago she claimed she was moving back in with her mother to ‘better’ our relationship. After not hearing from her for a few days I got curious. Come to find out she manipulated everyone who was once my friend into hating me and cheated on me with my best friend since middle school. I feel empty and unwanted it’s a horrible feeling and it seems to only get worse. This has helped me in the sense of me staying the hell off of her FB and any other shit i’ll see her on. But losing everyone and being completely alone is one hell of a thing.

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dakota113 October 10, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Three months ago yesterday me and my first love broke up. I truly thought she was the one for me. We were together for 2 years and 3 months. We met at a church camp 4 years ago and were best friends ever since. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her but couldn’t date her because we lived 2.5 hours away. At juniors in high school we decided to give it a shot and try long distance. It worked to our surprise and we were happier than every. Every weekend we were driving to see each other. We rarely went two weeks without seeing each other. If we did we would meet half way on a weeknight for a dinner date. She was truly my best friend. She was my first for just about everything. I had only kissed a handful of girls when we started dating and she was my first. I still find myself wandering just what it was that I did wrong. I don’t mean to sound cocky at all but I worked for every penny I spent. I tried my hardest to be a gentlemen just like my parents had raised me. I paid for everything on every date, opened the door for her on every occasion, I would even write little love letters to her every now and then just to tell her how beautiful she was and how blessed i was to have her in my life. Her family loved me and I loved her family, and it was the same the other way around. We had so many great times together and rarely if anytime fought. I thought about her beautiful face with every passing minute. Now it feels like my heart has been ripped out. We decided to take a break two months before she moved to my hometown where we would go to college together. She said she had just fallen out of love. I didn’t understand how. I thought I was everything for her and I knew she was everything for me.I had faith she would miss me and want to get back together after she had a little time alone. That day has yet to come. Every so often I would get a week moment and pick up the phone and called her. She would give me hope that she still wanted this and so I would keep waiting. Before we said our goodbye’s we made a promise not to mess around with other people. Yesterday I asked her if she had stayed true to our promise and she had not. I can’t even begin to tell you the pain I felt in my heart. This is when I decided I didn’t want to get back with her. I still do don’t get me wrong but obviously she doesn’t want the same thing. She goes out and parties now almost every night and I guess she just likes the single life. Its not fair to me to stand around and wait for her to come back to me. I’ve been trying so hard to move on but its so hard living without your best friend that you would talk to every day. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. I work construction 40 hours a week plus I am a full time college student. I thought she would see the man and provider I would be in her future. I know I will always love her but this article has made this process much easier. Today I blocked her from my FB and deleted everything in my phone that reminded me of her the least bit. Sorry for the long story it just feels great to get this out. Remember me in your prayers that I can be strong.  

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Queen1awh October 27, 2011 at 3:05 am

You’ll be just fine. I’m another one suffering but everytime I chose to go back, I think of all the negativity he did and said and it makes me completely change my mind. Just be strong!

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StrangerSome October 28, 2011 at 5:59 pm

I come back too. She calls – I’m there. Like a fool who appreciates his applause more than his pride. Keep your backbone, let time take her away. I’ll be praying.

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M Bykova January 29, 2012 at 10:47 am

Only God can heal our hearts completely. Stay strong brother. God bless xx

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Sweet 18 October 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm

hey all!
its truly been a slip of fate that i actually chanced upon this site in the first place cause m not an avid surfer and i just cant tell u hw glad i feel after visiting this space..i just want to share my story!i am gettin over my first love and i know u will understand wt m sayin…i was in a relationship wid a guy for the past 1 and a half years..then we chose different streams,i entered med and he took engineering..despite difff streams we had the most amazing and true committment!more than anything he was my best friend ever,,could share anythin under the sun!the only prob encountered was opposition by family..though we tried to tell ourselves we could make it work ultimately we also did not want to hurt our parents..fighting over this and putting unreasonable pressure and expectations became a vicious cycle and both of us found it hard to manage!but after a year or so i finally settled..but he had had enough..on my b’day he took a break,i was sure he’ll come back!but that was not to happen..he told me he’s over me!initially this break seemed lik a relief because i was rid of the tension and guilt,..and somehow i was relived too!i didn stop stayin in touch because i did not have any bitter feelings…recently he told me he is in love with anothr girl!she’s his classmate and it was i who encouraged him to b her friend because she seemed nice…they knew each other in school too and he had a crush on her that time…but after our break up i started hatin her cause she told him that best thing to do is break up..i held her responsible for it!!now he loved her…i couldn stand it!i totally lost it..then started my crying and weeping!totally broke down..i was so scared i’d feel the hurt that i started loafing just to keep my mind off!my friends didnt know abt us so i didnt have their support too…now i have partially accepted that its over and there is nothin i can do about it!i should just stomach the fact that he’s moved on…there is nothin wrong that he did..it did not work out thats all!I HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS..right now i’m a little lost..but all i know is the more i think negatively my bitterness increases and the weight on my chest increases!but ultimately he still cares about me and respects me..and its mutual!i want to b his friend but after reading the article i realize now is not the time!there will b a day where i would have healed completely..i want to b ther 4 him someday :) also i dont want to b afraid of loving again!i think i’ll wait for my prince to arrive but let him take his time cause m too immature and young to decide wat is right for me :)

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Ellie October 15, 2011 at 10:05 am

This has been a really helpful article, and I’m so grateful for the advice. My first boyfriend broke up with me two days ago, and I’m really down about it. But the thing that I’m realizing is, is that it wasnt really much of a relationship anyways. We’re both 16 and had known each other for two years as friends at school, and i liked him for a while but thought I would never have a chance. However I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last year, and I’m sure he noticed me more because of this. We started dating, and at first it was going great, he would text me regularly and we’d meet up twice week. I met his family and he met mine and we all got on really well. But I think that me and him went to far too fast, I lost my virginity to him 3 weeks into the relationship that in the end only lasted 3 months. It ended up with me and him seeing each other only once maybe twice a week just for sex and dinner. He stopped texting me as often, and if we walked past each other in school we wouldn’t even acknowledge each other. We had different kinds of friends so it was awkward to just walk up to him in front of all his mates. We had a major arguement, which was equally both our faults I suppose. But it made me realize how little he cared because I started crying and he didnt come after me to comfort me and try to sort things out sensibly. I have very wonderful but very protective friends, and one of them went to yell at him for making me sad. I know she was just protecting me but it really didn’t help the situation. At the end of the day he texted me saying he wanted a private talk, which ended up with him saying it wasn’t working and pointing out all of my flaws, criticizing me for everything. He just walked away calmly, and I burst into tears and ran to find my friends. Since then we haven’t spoken, and he has cut all communication with me. Overall I just feel so used, I want him back, but I know ill still just be unhappy so I guess breaking up is the best option. I think I want closure though, just to talk to him calmly and say that I respect his decision and hope that someday we could maybe be friends again.

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Alex October 16, 2011 at 2:57 am

i cant get over my ex girlfriend. i have that love that nothing can heal. she loves me and i love her, you may think “get back with her then” or etc. but its not that easy. you see, me nd my girlfriend never told anyone we were going out. we hugged now and then in private in school. i hav been loving her for a year since seventh grade and i love her until now in 8th grade. one of my best friends, michael, told me he likes her. i told him to go out wit her. i told him that because me nd my ex have been having many problems nd i might treat her like the princess she is, michael on the other hand is her best guy friend who treats her like an angel. michael has asked my ex out 3 times… she rejected him all those times. i tell her “giv him a chance” i want to see the happy you. me and her really dont talk about the secret realtionship we had. of course we both know we love each other. today (Oct.15) we were texting. she said hi nd we got the conversation going. out of nowhere, i told her i loved her. she told me she loved me too. i didnt know what to say, so i told her “your lying” she said no im serious. i told her i really loved her and REALLY REALLY loved her. then we brougjt up some of the fights we have had. then we got really peeved at each other. in total me nd her hav had over 15 fights, as 13 year olds, we dnt really kno wat tru love is. but we are different, we love each other like a married couple does. as i was saying before that me nd her hav had alot of history, u may think this is childish, but we got married once. of course not married married, but i bought her a ring pop for the wedding. Actually, only one person knew about me and my ex. our friend cristina. shes the one who married us. As i was saying about OCT.15, me nd my ex got in a fight. we got really mad at each other i told her we shuldnt be friends anymore. cristina told me that i shuld admit i like my ex still. i said i didnt. after i told my ex we shuldnt talk anymore and we shuld not be friends, she never texted me bak. i regret saying that…. i went to google and looked up how to get over your first love. and i reached this page. i saw the whole 16minute video on all the tips. im not a crier at all, but i cried after that. thats wen i realized i am deeply in love wit her. her birthday is on nov.18, i wanted to giv her an i love u poem telling her our whole srory since web first me, but i threw it away because it was to painful to me. i wish i can get over her, i hope that wish comes true soon because i am suffering from a broken 13year old heart

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Skyrim October 24, 2011 at 6:44 am

I was together with my ex for about a year. We are both in high school. This is our last year. He broke it off with me telling me that he no longer sees me that same way anymore, that he no longer loves me. Which is true cause he started to act distant before we broke up. Well we ended up talking and he admitted that he still sees my body the same, just not me emotionally. He was my first everything. And we have the same group of friends and we even have a college class together. So i cant really avoid him at all. He acts like he is completely over it already. I for some reason cant seem to let go of him. Ive been trying to find ways that we could have saved our relationship, and ways that would possbily get him to fall in love with me again. Its been about 3 weeks since we broke up. The worst thing is that he still flirts with me on and off. So i dont know how to get over him, when he keeps doing that, and i naturally flirt back cause i am still in love with him. Any tips on how to handle this and get over him so i can stop crying my eyes out?

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Sophie November 15, 2011 at 3:21 am

I went through the same thing with my ex. It is hard especially when they try and lead you on. Be civil with him but try your hardest not to flirt back and pretend to him that you are over him. Try your hardest not to think about him and try and do more things to make you happy. Take up a sport or something you enjoy where you can forget him and have fun. Do not try and get back with him cause he is obviously not the guy you are meant to be with or else he wouldn’t have broken up with you. You will find someone amazing out there that will treat you right, not play you and will love you forever for who you are. Don’t be scared of hurt because it means you are just getting closer and closer to that one person you are meant to be with :)

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Sarahsan2000 December 22, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Im going through the same thing currently. Thanks so much.. I really needed advice on this. :)

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Guest October 28, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I was with my ex for 5 years, we broke up about a week ago, thing is I feel like I love him so much and I’ve lost my best friend. I keep feeling like I want to get back with him and I don’t want him to meet anybody else. I want him to stay in love with me forever. What do I do, I feel lonely

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StrangerSome October 28, 2011 at 5:51 pm

That lovely little bitter response is the one factor of healing: Time…

Your not alone out there, as isolated and misunderstood as it would seem. I’m stuck in a rut on this part of the earth surface too.

I can only presume this person knew you inside-out with understanding that didn’t compare to the rest of your waking world, someone who took that thing we’re all seeking and placed it in your eyes. But this is a fresh break- it’s going to sting & it will continue to pulse through like an actual sickness depending on the deep feelings.
Hang in there- let yourself hurt on it, but realize what is going to happen. That you had a life before them, and that this is one day, after the next – but before tomorrow.
Your garunteed time, take the experience & the opportunities it offers for a new perspective, new changes, new challenges ahead & a billion new people to meet who could get to know you if you could give them a chance.

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StrangerSome October 28, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    Like the numerous faces on this virtual roller-coaster- I’m in a rut & it all starts and ends with my own attachments to a friend. High School, 11th grade 15yrs old- it was forced and I was used as a means of aiding someone’s repertoire with her.
I thought she was deadly beautiful when I was 1st introduced, because her move to our school was some “talk of the town” shit that year, I’d already knew about her. I told myself right off the bat, if I continue seeing her it would remain the same. P-L-A-T-O-N-I-C. Well…. hahahahahah.
It was my mantra of our friendship for the first year. What a woman! She caught me off guard as we both started learning each other, we were complete opposites! But she cracked open the worst, early on & didn’t run so I was pretty comfortable. She gave me an entire new outlook on the surrounding world, on worlds I hadn’t seen before, taught me more than any other individual has since my parents. As we became good friends- she left, no word no sign just houdini’d in thin air.

I was initially pretty shut up, I didn’t let it devour my day but it took a good hold of my mind whenever I wasn’t paying attention. After 6 months, I get a call from her with an invite to an event party at her new appt. “Me & jenny, we was just like peas & carrots again” only this time around- my mantra had faltered, tripped, skipped & failed. I was interested past the means of platonic friendship, what I didn’t yet recognize, were signs I was falling for my best friend. (<=worse possible scenario & I carried that foreboding sensation)
Now I'm sitting here, 5-6 years later (now 21)- she is still running wildly & I'm dumbly chasing with unrequited emotions. The difference of my "first love" story, is that I am not her first- nor am I an actual love interest, she does have love for me but we are not mutuallistically connected. I hold no guilt or blame over her head, it was never an understanding that we'd even chance something more serious- Now I just need the separation to clear my head and get back to the platonic means of our friendship. Lol. I fucking love her impulsive antics & all, it seems so melodramatic- I get sucked into her gravity. /: (If you made it through this longgg dumb-struck love shit, you- sir, are a trooper. I appreciate it)

Sucks, to knowingly leave the truth in happiness you've built with another identity. Guess it happens.

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Guest November 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We’ve always been long distance (an hour and a half) so we got really close quickly because we’d spend our weekends together. I’ve never loved an individual as much as I loved him- we never fought, all we did was spend time together and be in love. We fought so hard for everything we had because of the long distance. My family absolutely loved him, his family loved me. I spent the whole summer living with him at his apartment (we’re both in college) and it was literally perfect. I moved out for the summer and everything was fine until I went to visit him one weekend and he basically said he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. He dragged out ever breaking up with me- making me cry all day and wonder why this was happening. I was so shocked, I couldn’t eat sleep or do anything. I barely made it to classes. I met him to talk one night and he said we could still be in a relationship. I don’t understand why he didn’t just break up with me? I finally got fed up and texted him to say I’ll send him his stuff I have at my apartment and we started talking. I asked him why he did this- did he meet someone else? and he said that everything changed over the summer but that CANNOT be true. I’m not in denial- I’m okay now. He literally bought be flowers when I left for the summer, he cuddled with me all morning, he gave me his own TV to take back to my apartment. Those things you wouldn’t do if you don’t love someone anymore. He did things that he always did- so I was so shocked just a few weeks later to see that he wanted to break up or wasn’t sure. He lives with a few of his best friends and they’re all single and I can’t help but think their influence is too heavy on his decisions. What’s also really strange is that he’s never flat out said he doesn’t love me or he wanted to break up, we just kind did…. it just leaves me with so many unanswered questions. I also told him that I think we’re meant to be together (we literally talked about getting married, what we’re going to name our kids, where we’re going to live- he loved planning his future with me. He used to joke all the time about being a stay-at-home-dad) and I said maybe not now, not in a few months or a year. And he said “maybe in a year or two.” WHY WOULD he say that?! Does anyone have an opinion on my story? I am just so heartbroken.

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Seabear93 November 3, 2011 at 2:10 am

HOW TO GET OVER YOUR FIRST LOVE IN ONE EASY STEP: FIND HIS FAULTS 
Nobodys perfect so there is always something about that special person that you may not life. Find it and sooner or later you will no longer see the person but just see them for all of their faults.!! 
Doing so helps you become a better person too by perfection yourself and onto the next sexy hot sex romance !! <3 <3 100% effective all all who have tired :)

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Guest November 3, 2011 at 10:03 am

I actually feel your pain. My exgirlfriend and I were together for 2 and a half years. We recently broke up about 2 months ago and I’m still torn. My situation was very similar to yours, we were long distance about a year in our relationship and I did everything to keep her happy. We too talked about marriage, kids, the future and our goals in life. We were so committed to one another that breaking up seemed impossible. I’m still confused on why it happened because she was the one that broke it off, and all I do is still question why. The one thing that I can truly say is to really focus on yourself, be a better person. Someone that doesn’t need another to live life simply because of promised words. And it is true, time will settle in and things happen for a reason. But continually dwelling on the past will only make matters worse, you have to carry on. We gave promise rings to one another, we planned our wedding just for fun, had one another’s things at each others places, always expected “I love you” texts after class, so much happiness seemed to go straight down the drain. We just have to let that go, because it’s just gonna destroy us internally. The one thing you can do is to wish the best, care for them as a person, but seeing or hearing from them would only get you emotionally attached, so keep that separate. Be happy for yourself, learn to grow independently, and do things to keep you occupied from continually thinking about that person. That’s what I’ve been doing, oh and always make time for friends, they’ll keep you company at times like these :)

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shayla November 7, 2011 at 11:27 pm

He seems to really love you and want you, but it appears that he is being influenced by his friends and wants some space. If he TRULY wants you and loves you, he will come back. Act like you don’t care. Don’t text or call him. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Hope that helps!

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guest November 16, 2011 at 5:02 am

Whoa. My story is freakishly similar to your own. Things seemed to be going fine and then–out of nowhere–he changed his mind. He said he still wanted to be friends–best friends–but he has tried to keep in contact at all. And I know there’s someone else in his life now, someone he was “talking” to when he ended things with me. I contacted him the other day to see if he wanted to get together the next time I was in town (for Thanksgiving) and he responded “of course!” as if it was silly for me to even think we wouldn’t hang out. But I have no idea where his head is or how he’s feeling. And the truth is, four days before he said he didn’t want to have a relationship anymore, I tried to end things with him. You see, we had been doing the “open relationship” thing for a while and I had just found out that he was starting to talk to someone (the same girl I believe he’s talking to now). And he had been completely against breaking up and said I was overreacting. But now here we are. I don’t know what changed. It’s scary and confusing and I’m not sure how to react. I’m sure you know what I mean. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I wish I could offer you an explanation, but all I can do is tell you you’re not alone. :)

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Sammy February 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Some men are soo messed up…..I can relate to your story soo much. I was soo happy, he proposed to me and literally planned our entire life…our kids, their names, our home design….then he is all confused and starts cheating….he calls randomly to say he loves me although he is with another woman !!!!
I think he is CRAZY….
Honestly, I think he still thinks he can come back…but it is too late….I am having the hardest time moving on :(

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Sandiegogirl1 November 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I just broke up with my first love 5 days ago, it’s been really hard and it feels like my whole world is crashing down. But he was so bipolar and he got mad for the dumbest reasons. He broke up with me because he thought that I put my friends in front of him which wasn’t true. He seemed so perfect for me but when I look back on it, he was the One to decide if my day would be good or not; and I didn’t like that. I think of him right when I wake up till the time I go to bed. We dated for 10 months and our annaversary is on Christmas day so it’s also been hard seeing all the Christmas stuff around. I changed so much for him.. He recently found out he had a kid, I wasn’t comfortable with it at first but I changed and it doesn’t bug me anymore. But now that I look back on it, he never changed for me. All he did was take and use and no one should have to deal with something like that.

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devin November 7, 2011 at 12:41 am

My boyfriend and I broke up about one month ago. He was my first everything, my first love and first serious boyfriend. I thought he was my soul mate and after my first week of being in college he told me he doesn’t trust me and can’t be with me anymore. The thing is I am still so in love with him and I can’t stop trying to get him to be with me. He tells me he still loves me but he just isn’t in love with me anymore. He tells me that when I come home for christmas break we can rekindle our romance and he can try to trust me so when I go off to college we can be together again. I don’t know what to do I am still so in love with him. I don’t want him to be in love with anyone else but me :(

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guest November 7, 2011 at 9:40 am

oh my goodness..i started reading through this website and just started balling my eyes out!

well my story is that i met this guy when i was on the verdge of becoming a teenager and when i first saw him for our first date he smiled, i smiled and i felt a huge burst of every wonderful feeling imaginable instantly, plus i was nervous as hell, which was funny because i was thinking at the same time ”OMG i cant beleive my friend set me up with this little twurpy funny lookin guy”. i guess my heart and brain wernt on the same page, i just knew i cared about him deeply right there and then. we dated for a couple monthes and we couldnt get enough of eachother,we loved spending time together, we were on the phone all the time, i can still recall his old phone number and this was 7 years ago, im sure he probably still remembers my number from back then also. but anyways when summer ended and we were back in school, he broke up with me because he wanted more “action” then i was giving him. we lost touch then a few monthes later he popped back in my life and wanted me back, we dated agian for a few monthes broke up for the same ol reason and we did that routine for about 3 or 4 years then we would do the routine but being just friends and only be in touch for a week or so. well he met a girl and dated her for a while they broke up and he was back in my life on and off until he got back together with her agian so i havent seen him for a little over 2 years…i was hanging out with someone he knew a couple monthes ago and he showed up at her house so i kept my distence and tryed to make sure he didnt know i was there cuz he was with his gf and i didnt wanna see him with her but my friend told him i was in the other room and he wanted to see me but i guess his gf is jealous of me so he kept his distence. i still miss him/ love him but he didnt have his priorties straight, and is now happy with someone else and i dont want to wait on him anymore. i still cry every now and then about how we could have had something beautiful together if we would have just got the courage to tell eachother what was going on in our heads and hearts & if he would have had more patience with me to be comfortable enough to be sexual with him…

but thats the way the cookie crumbled for my love story i guess. im faithful that one day i will start fresh with someone new and not repeat the same bullshit with the next guy that sweeps me off my feet. i pray for all of you that are stuck on your ex like i am, stay faithful, do activites that make you feel good about yourself, learn from your past and dont let that person your trying to get over weezle there way in your life, stop listening to those sad love songs, forgive that person and know your forgivng that person for yourself.
STAY STRONG! :) theres plently of people that want to give there love to someone and your bound to want to offer your love to one of them, all you have to do is find them and use your lessons of pros and cons in your past relationships to work.

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lp November 10, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Great comment, really my story is so similar to yours

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guest November 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm

thank you :) its nice to here that someone can relate to my situation

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Shauna November 9, 2011 at 10:43 am

Thank you for posting these 5 steps.  I have been divorced from my first love since 2008 and still I have a difficult time moving on even though I filed.  I am focused on becoming a better person and I am in school to pursue my dream career.  My fear of falling in love again is giving so much of myself intimately (not sexual intimacy) and allowing myself to be vulnerable.  I still believe in love but at this time in my life I will take my time at step 4 and focus on me for a while.  I don’t know how long it is going to take me to truly get over my ex but I know that I tried from day one to change him so I need lay to rest the fantasy that I had in my head of what my marriage could have been. 

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Acasale November 11, 2011 at 5:41 am

“I tried from day one to change him so I need lay to rest the fantasy
that I had in my head of what my marriage could have been”

I just broke up with my first love yesterday. We were together for 5 years and 5 months. I have been feeling like we just arnt right for eachother for a while now and I have done everything in my power to change those feelings, until 2 days ago. He is my first love and I will always think about, care for, and love him. He is someone that I spent a long time with and gave my heart to. We had great times together and he taught me most of what I know about myself and the world. He taught me what I need out of a relationship, sadly he just couldn’t give that to me. Him teaching me what I really need gave me the power to let him go. I tried to change him, like u said u did, and all along I knew that was not the right answer. 1. If I have to change him to completely fulfill me, then he is not the one for me. and 2. that is not fair to him. He deserves better, he deserves someone that fully excepts him for him. Not someone that needs majors parts of who he is to change in order to feel completely right in the relationship. Your line I wrote up above sounds just like me. I was so scared to let go of him that i tried to fix it, and the way i tried to fix it was by changing him and placing all blame on him. That was wrong, and it kills me at the mere thought of that. I was so afraid to except that it just wasnt right and that I need to move on. I and we together once dreamed of the fantasy of what marriage could be. In his head he may have imagined it with me just how i am. For me i imagined it with him, just not completely how he is. That’s wrong, that was a clear sign that the relationship was not right. I thought if i only push him to change, to be more like this or that, then it will work out and we can get our happily ever after. So, I tried and tried and tried and it just wouldnt work, it couldnt work. He is who he is. He cant be someone different because of me, because of the fantasy he so desperately wants to come true. Thats wrong for him. I will always admire the person he is, he has all the qualities of a perfect boyfriend, except when it comes to communication and make our relationship feel like a relationship and not a friendship. This is one thing I tried to get him to change, not only for me and us, but for him as an individual. I hope he learns how to, I hope he listened to me and realized communication and opening yourself up is not only important for a relationship, but for your own well-being. I also hope one day he can be in my life again as a friend. I will always want to know how he is and what hes up to and make sure he is okay.

A really hard part of all this is that I want to be able to console him and make him feel better, but i am the one that caused him this pain and I guess its not my place to do that anymore. That was tough to write. That its not my place anymore, I let go of that when I let go of the relationship, that just really hearts the heart.

Thanks tho. Your quote helped me. I helped me know that I am not alone. 

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Sophie November 15, 2011 at 3:11 am

I’m in high school and was with my ex for almost two years. He was my everything and my world and I truely thought I was going to one day marry him. We broke up and I went through alot. I had to go through councelling and things weren’t as easy as just never seeing him again to get over him. We go to the same school and are in most classes together. We even have to see each outside school being in the same sports team. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Im over him now and have moved on with someone new, but because he is my first love things really get to me. He has a new girlfriend now and seeing them together just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don’t want to be with him but I just feel like crying over it. I never show him my weaknesses anymore and try and show him how happy I can be without him, I won’t give him that satisfaction. But why do I still hate the thought of with someone else..

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Kayla November 23, 2011 at 1:47 am

i wish i could answer your question for you but i cant, im going threw the same thing right now and i find myself asking myself the same question

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Jaybear829 November 15, 2011 at 5:28 am

My ex and I broke up for good a little over a month ago. We were together for 8 years, since I was 15. And I can say I always have been, and am still madly in love with him. It was through our relationship that I learned what it truly means to be selfless. We have grown together in so many wonderful ways and I am truly at a loss as to how we ended the way we did. We had our ups and downs over the years as all couples do, but we always worked through them together. I had found out through a mutual friend that he had been seeing someone else the entire last year and a half of our relationship, and that they had recently moved in together… yes while we still together and we were finally contemplating marriage. There was nothing that had lead me to believe he was truly cheating on me. We had seen eachother literally everyday after work, for hours. We spent every weekend together, and it was always full of laughter and love. We shared our friendships with eachother, and no one had minded being out with us as a couple because our energy was so positive and fun loving. When I had confronted him about the person he has been seeing/living with, he had told me that “he never meant for things with her to go so far, and that he truly regrets what he had done to me, I am the true love of his life, so on so forth”. I ended it with him, and I have never been so shocked, lost, and ultimately torn apart in my life. Things have never been easy for me; I am not the wealthiest person with the most stable family life. It was through he and his family where I have obtained such wholesome values and positivity. I feel as though I have lost my ability to connect with people on such an emotional level. I have really become numb to everything around me. I have tried to follow the above advice, but I cannot go more than a few hours without wondering if he is okay or truly happy. I hate to remember that from our love, the last words he could have muttered to me were “fuck you”, when I had told him how much I wanted to be with him, and it really makes me wonder if you ever truly know somebody. Should anyone have any advice as to how I can learn to distract myself from what I am going through, it would be so appreciated. I want to believe I can love someone as deeply as I have in my future, but all of my adolescent memories and thoughts involve him, as we grew up together through our relationship. I literally know nothing else in life, and this transition into a single lifestyle has been an adjustment that has been nothing but a heart breaking, miserating experience.

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Guest November 20, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Honestly, you need to focus on yourself.  Go to the gym, eat healthy, pick up a hobby like playing the guitar or practice painting etc.  Sit outside as much as you can and not inside.  Read funny books and also ones that will give you confidence and positive thoughts. Only read like one break up book and then be done with it.  It’s been a month, you need to force the past out of your thoughts. When you start to think about him/it then stop and think about something else, watch tv or read.  Get reconnected with past friends and family members.   Dont sit in the quiet and dwell on things that you cant change.  And by no means do not jump into another relationship because your lonely.  Just focus on yourself for now.  I do not have a family either but I have a handful of friends that I do call family and even though you dont feel like spending time with them… you really should.  But quiet time…not time at bars etc. You are not ready to be going out on the town yet, if that makes sense.  Just stay stay “friend focused”.  Keep telling yourself he moved on so you should too.  And I promise…you will find someone else eventually and you will love them just as much or maybe even more :) but they will both have two different special places in your heart. Good Luck!

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Phu Le January 17, 2012 at 11:19 pm

hey Jaybear…i’m so sorry to have read what you wrote…What is helping me get through my recent breakup was to really admit to myself that I had made many mistakes in the relationship, then to forgive myself for it, and to really accept the fact that i still love my ex so much. if we keep on denying our feelings, it will take much longer to get over them. It has been a couple days since i tried this new approach and it works better than my last one. Please keep yourself busy with work, and in my case school and classes, friends, family, and especially a hobby. Believe in yourself that you can get through this and realize that you are still young, 8 years has only been the hardest test yet and hey..YOUR STILL ALIVE, BREATHING, LIVING LIFE, so YOU’VE PASSED THE TEST! be proud of yourself that you are seeking advice from different places instead of doing crazy things. and by telling you this, I too am taking my own advice and focusing on myself. You’re certainly not alone, so stay positive, because to my surprise..there seems to be a lot of faithful people..like the ones on here who have been left, but are moving on slowly! you’ll find someone who will love you much more because you now have 8 years of relationship experience under your belt! i wish you the best!

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Phu Le January 17, 2012 at 11:20 pm

hey Jaybear…i’m so sorry to have read what you wrote…What is helping me get through my recent breakup was to really admit to myself that I had made many mistakes in the relationship, then to forgive myself for it, and to really accept the fact that i still love my ex so much. if we keep on denying our feelings, it will take much longer to get over them. It has been a couple days since i tried this new approach and it works better than my last one. Please keep yourself busy with work, and in my case school and classes, friends, family, and especially a hobby. Believe in yourself that you can get through this and realize that you are still young, 8 years has only been the hardest test yet and hey..YOUR STILL ALIVE, BREATHING, LIVING LIFE, so YOU’VE PASSED THE TEST! be proud of yourself that you are seeking advice from different places instead of doing crazy things. and by telling you this, I too am taking my own advice and focusing on myself. You’re certainly not alone, so stay positive, because to my surprise..there seems to be a lot of faithful people..like the ones on here who have been left, but are moving on slowly! you’ll find someone who will love you much more because you now have 8 years of relationship experience under your belt! i wish you the best!

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Chloe February 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I have the exact same story……just my relationship lasted for 6 years and I was engaged. You are not alone….trust me I know exactly how you feel…..like you are lost, you don’t know what is going on…you wonder what is going on with your life and you are shock that you can no longer have contact with the person who you were closest with. I thought I was crazy but knowing that you feel the same makes me feel not alone….It has been 3 hard months for me and we only stopped talking like 4 days now…but I know he will  call soon….but I am determined never to answer.
I honestly think my ex is mad for doing this and cannot be thinking like a regular person. It is all a joke to him.
I pray everyday….
I pray to be ok and that my heartache goes away…..I felt all my dreams and plans are gone.
I truly believe that God has a plan for me and he does for you to.

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Senorita November 15, 2011 at 8:15 am

i hate being heartbroken! i think about him allll the time :(

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Kayla Coston November 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

well heres my story..
He broke up with me yesterday , we was almost going to make 5 months dec 10 , i kno , tahts not long but for me i felt like i love him so much …. basically when we started talking we would talk like… everyday about anything and it use to b so awesome.. but every since his friend died he never treated me the same… he would jus stop texting me for hours . when we did talk he would act so mean… and i tried to understand really i tried… i would message him telling him that he not the same anymore and things… then yesterday night i tried to talk to him and he called me irritating and it really hurt my feelings cuz like he never acted that way towards me…. and i was like trying to jus work it out… but because of the fact that i always wanted to talk to him it ruined us from being together because he wanted a break… and i was to self centered to give him that… he told me he would never leave me … guess it was all a lie..

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Gusgus3185 November 24, 2011 at 2:47 am

So…we were best friends for a long time before he had the courage to ask me out. Actually it took my cousin being briebed to tell him that I liked him. We dated for only three months in which he was depressed and suicidal. He was mad at his parents for divorce. He brought me down with him and I was the one he told everything to. But for some reason I still loved him. It soon got to be too much so I ended it. A year later I’m still wondering what I’m doing. I still dream about him. We are sitting on a dock and I tell him I still love him and then we kiss (in the dream). Why am I still like this?!

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Tiffany November 28, 2011 at 11:13 am

My Ex Boyfriend and I was together 5 years, we broke up in Jan. 2011. I loved him with everything I had in me, I would do anything for him. I even tried changing somethings about myslef just to suit his needs. Which let me tell you, it does not work at all. We was together from the time I was 17 (almost 18) till 22. We had been though so many things together, I tried so hard to make him happy. But. he was a cheater, he cheated on me at least 3 times that I know of, and meeting random women online in person, that he claims never to have had sex with. I lost all trust in him, and everytime he hurt me I would try harder to show him how much I loved and cared for him, but it seemed not to matter to him at all. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me, and that he would never hurt me again, and like the fool I would fall for it everytime getting hurt, once we broke up over him cheating for 4 months and I was a disaster the entire time. I loved him and wanted him, I did not even know why? But, now we don’t talk, and I perfer it that way, at first it killed me not talking to him. But, I have moved on. I started talking to other people. I got a boyfriend soon after our break-up that did not work out, which now I realize moving on fast after a break-up is bad. But in May of this year I ran into a guy i have known 10 years and insantly conected with him :) And I can say I love him, I know it seems fast, but my heart knows whats best for it now, he treats me with respect and kindness, as I do him, he even told me my ex did not deserve a day with me, me and him live together now we can not go even one day without the other, and everything is fine, and I know this time I got it right! You can learn to love again just learn what you need first.

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Chloe February 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hi Tiffany, you inspire me soo soo much. My ex and I were together for 6 years…I loved him with everything, we even got engaged. The i caught him cheating and found out he used to be sneaking around my back hanging out with other girls. Its been 3 months now and I am moving on slowly but surely. He broke all his promises. I only recently cut all ties with him and it is difficult. I don’t understand how he can treat me this way when all I ever did was be good to him. He is such a cheater and liar…I was very scared to move on and I am scared if I will ever find the right person….thanks for your story….I think I will be ok.

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Micky_powell_95 November 30, 2011 at 12:41 am

Jessica White, the most beautiful name in the world. Over a year later and still the littlest thing sets me off crying -. I’ve been in and out of short flings in that time but never felt anything close towhat I felt, and still feel, for her… sometimes, after years of being together, i still looked at her and thought ‘Wow, this girl has made me the luckiest woman inthe workld’. (yes, it’s a girl-girl relationship. Live with it). For the first 8 months, it was total bliss – not a single argument, so totally in love. Then, one day, an argument. A big one. In the end, we ended up cheating on each other, being angry all the time. BUT there was still the look in her eye, the crinkles around her eyes when she smiled. I loved her. I love her. i am in love with her.  I can’t avoid her – its a small town we live in. She also began to date an old friend. I still see her and it tears me apart. I made a scrap book and kept a bag fullof her clothes. Sometimes, when i want to torture myself, i take the bag out and just remnd myself of her smell. I’m so glad I kept photos of her, but they still make me cry. Now, I’ve met someone new. Someone who could make me happy again. but im so afraid :’( I’m so, so afraid.  I don’t know if i can do it again. I don’t know if i want to. I don’t know what to do! I know Jess will never want me back, and i dont know if i could take her back either, and I’m not waiting fr her too either. I just want… I want to feel something. Anything close to what I had with her. but how? Is it even possible? I’ve been tryi

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Jessica November 30, 2011 at 2:01 am

I fell in love when i was 16 with my friend. I was introduced to him by my other friend and we insistently connect. We started talking everyday throughout the night, he made me laugh,smile, I loved everything about him to me he was different. And one day my friend ask him if he liked me and he say yes. So I finally got the courage and told him and I like him, but it was kind of an open-relationship. He also lived an 1 and half away. And he would always talk to girls and I always had suspicious about that. And he said he never liked any other girls but me. Then he would always tell me to text him or call him, and I would always start up a conversation so I event started to talk to him less and less, and then one day i stopped talking to him all together. Its been 6 months and he has a new girlfriend, and every time i think maybe if i didn’t stop talking to him we would’ve still been together. I still love him and i can always think about him.

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Meh.... December 4, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Well me and my ex were dating for only a month (I know it’s a short time but we were together for a while before I finally had the guts to ask her out even though she kept hinting the answer would be yes. We were always talking to each other I mean always not a minute would go by without her texting me or calling me or seeing her, it was the happiest time of my life I could tell her anything. I truly was in love with her I would still do anything for her if it would make her happy. But a week ago she called me at 3am and she couldn’t hardly breathe because she was crying so bad so I asked her what was wrong and she said “I can’t be with you..”. Immediately my stomach and heart dropped…I wondered if it was a dream but I knew better. I didn’t cry while she told me why, it was because she started talking to one of her friends and didn’t want to end up cheating on me :( . I still feel cheated though because no matter how you look at it she left me for another guy. I know she spared me the hurt from cheating but my heart is still broken. I’ve had thoughts of suicide and one time I had a knife to my wrists ready to slice but then I got a text message from her and I remembered that I couldn’t do this to my friends and family. Me and her are still friends kind’ve but we had to ride a bus for 5hours together and I almost cried everytime I heard her laugh or cry or saw her texting someone I ended up blasting music the whole way home :( I don’t want to be with her because I couldn’t take another break up with her but I don’t know if I have the strength to tell her no if she would want me which probably won’t happen anyways. I was lucky to have a girl as amazing smart and funny as her. I know that she said she loved me but I mean I wouldn’t have left her for anyone, they were good friends since before she met me so I guess it’s only fair to him to get a chance to be with her… Sorry I kist had to let all that out.

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Gusgus3185 December 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Don’t get suicidal man. Its the worst thing you could do. Trust me I know. You will get over her and hurting yourself is not the way to do it.

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Kawal1985 December 10, 2011 at 10:58 am

Hello 
I am kawal from delhi
I am 25 (Male)
I girl papoose me and i accept her proposal. and sedanly she brack up with me but i love her and i can’t forget her my all life. why i lover her like i love my life but i feel happy that time when she talk with me. i want satalment but she didn’t want. what i can do she we live like past

 

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DeBrabant21 December 17, 2011 at 9:31 am

Well I’ll throw my story out there, We first met when we were 17 I was a football player she was a cheerleader :) we both weren’t looking for love or even someone to date when we first met, we could talk for hours she always brought a smile to my face. She ended up moving into my house a month later cause her parents didnt want us to be again then she grew on my family everyone loved her and treated her as one of the family we gave her something her family could have never in a million years everything was perfect til she came back from college with only lasted 5 fays because she got home sick, after she came back she started hanging out with her friends more an ignoring me it got to the point were i had to make plans a week ahead of time just to go out with her cause she would just come home and go to bed. We started to drift away even tho we lived together then one day I made her stay home on a Friday night just to see her and she told me that it wasn’t meant to be anymore. It crushed me harder than anything in the world we tried to work things out but I only got mad at her because she really wanted to walk out on me, finally she moved out into a co-workers place. I found out that she had been talking to this 16 year old boy who had never even had his first kiss uglier than shit too she had kissed him when we were trying to work things out. I told her its me or him she choose me but when i had come to find out that she was still hanging out with him behind my back. Just last night I found them at the movies when she had ditched me cause we had plans I flipped out if it wasn’t for her stopping me that kid would have been 6 feet under right now, I asked her right there in front of him who is it going to be she told me to get into my car an leave that was her answer The sad thing is were 20 now I was planning on asking her to marrie me this year I gave her everything I devoted my whole life to her lost all of my friends who are girls because of her. I love this girl more than anything she is my first love to me it feels like its my only love idk how to get over her I pray to god every night to help me let her go so I can be happy again. i feel like Im dying from the inside out. I really want to get back with after all this too thats the sad thing. Idk if i should just stop talking to her for a few months then try to talk to her again to see if things work? I really hope is doesnt like that lil boy it would crush me if anyone has any advice? Thanks

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DeBrbanat21 December 17, 2011 at 9:35 am

She gave me the best 3 years of my life I just dont want it to end

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Jane7 December 24, 2011 at 2:54 am

hey listen youll be alright. the reason why i am even on this webiste is bc i feel the need to help ppl out . i mean love can destroy people sometimes. but you have to realize somehting, yes u can love someone with all your heart but you come first, you come before anyone else that you encounter with.  she sounds like a confused person, and maybe give her time to get her shit together. in the meantime keep busy, if your afraid to love again right now thats alright, but ppl change and things change, you have a whole life in front of you , yes u did everything you could do for this girl and thats all that should matter to you , you tried but if someone is not willing to meet you halfway then forget it , yea  love is going to take over ur mind right now but give yourself some alone time, short shit out in your head write down the pros and cons of her and ur relationship and then write down the stuff that you deserve from somebody.

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Marie December 17, 2011 at 9:02 pm

I met him when I was a freshman in college, he was 20 and I was 18. He didn’t like how close I was with a certain guy and always gave me a hard time for it. One time he even got mad because I laughed at a joke my guy friend said in front of a group of people. One night we got in a huge fight and he pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car and started walking when he knew that I had been drinking and couldn’t drive. That night I was so upset by what he had done I made a horrible decision and kissed my best guy friend. It was by far one of the worst decisions I had ever made and would change our relationship forever. Well for the next three years we were on and off and he never treated me the same. He treated me badly but I had felt so bad for what I had done I tolerated it. He would talk down to me and make me feel dumb and whenever I would cry he would tell me that he only treated me differently because he was so hurt by what I had done to him. Finally we both moved to different countries and agreed before he left that we would try to make things work long distance. I had never tried so hard in my entire life to make a relationship work. But still, he was unresponsive. I even sent him a package and the first thing he told me when he received it was that it broke and then criticized me for not sending it the right way. I realized at that point that the boy I feel in love with was no longer there, and no matter how hard I tried to get him back he never was going to be the same towards me. Finally he told me one day over skype that he had found someone else. What hurt wasn’t that he had found someone else, but how he reacted when I told him I had to stop talking to him because it was just too painful. It’s as if he didn’t care and that our relationship for the past 4 years had meant nothing and it was so easy for him to move on. I was crushed & devastated. But now looking back, it was the best thing he could have done. Although I still cry from time to time I look back and don’t regret anything. He always scared me by telling me that I’d never find anyone else like him, and yes I agree, I won’t find anyone else like him, but I do guarantee that I will find someone better. There is this one quote I found and I read it everyday and it says “We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.” I helped create an imperfect relationship and a vicious cycle that lead me to depression, but I’ve forgive myself and look back at it knowing that I can do better, and will do better.

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Hilmi Hilmi98 December 18, 2011 at 5:52 am

This really helped me I was devastated because i broke up with my girlfriend,i cried every night because of the break up,i was lost in the darkness but this brought me back up,thank you so much! :)

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Anonymous December 25, 2011 at 10:15 pm

glad this helped man! happy holidays to you!

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Jeanette December 21, 2011 at 3:14 am

My ex and I were going out for 2 years and everyday he would say I love you I will always love you and then one day (a month ago) he just said he wanted to see other people.  It hurt me so much because i opened up to him he was my first love and everything..

He said he wanted to be friends so i tried to keep in contact with him but then he told me he thought that I was thinking that we were still together.. and he repeated it was over..
Idk what made him do that.. and he never told me why he broke up with me.. but he kept saying there isn’t someone else.. Then today he asked  my friend to formal and she said yes..
yay.. senior year…

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mosey7 December 31, 2011 at 4:45 am

So things between me and my ex-lover started out great. She was quite possibly the best friend I ever had in high school, and she occupied my thoughts every moment of the day. Towards the final days of high school I asked her to be my gf and she replied yes, and so began the happiest summer vacation of my life. We talked quite literally every day over the phone, and texted whenever possible. I treated her with respect, and never tried to get on her bad side. I dated her whenever possible when our schedules worked. It seemed perfect.
But one day, after a month of no dates due to schedule complications, we got together so I could meet her parents, and I lost myself. I made numerous errors, and she ended up dumping me for it. I regreted it, apologized with everything I had, and we seperated.
About a week later, after some serious recuperation, I went to a football game at my high school, and when I went to get a gatorade… and who do you think I see working there? My ex. She told me to talk to her after the game, and I did, and texted her the next night. She revealed that she regreted her decision, and asked I take her back. After a week of contemplation, I agreed to casually date her again. Things went back to normal from there on out. I took her to a few places, and discussed things with her like before…
But two months later, complications arose in her family and one night she vented to me about it, and I foolishly believed later on I may have made her mad because her mood did not improve. I called her the next morning telling her that I felt disrespected, and she was flabbergasted and angry at me and ended the conversation. I immediately called her back to apologize, but she would not hear of it. A few days later we got into an argument on the phone, that ended with her solemnly saying we should not date because our personalities do not mesh. I agreed, and a couple days later we talked, and argued (again) and I indirectly said she was being a bitch. Since then she has not attempted to make conversation with me or ever carry one on if I asked a question over the next week.
My mistakes, in hindsight, were fatal. I treated her with so much respect, I made few sexual advancements, and I even felt intimidated by her presence MONTHS after we began dating. These factors allowed her to gain an upper-hand in the relationship. In time, she gradually lost respect for me, and it was when I made that second error that she believed that I am still emotionally immature, and dumped me. The thing is, now I know but it is now too late to fix my errors.
I need to give her time to hopefully forgive me for my errors. But should I simply move towards fixing my own personality to become more stable and confident, and in time change and try to give it another go with her in time? Or simply let it go and move on?

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Hazelannemarie January 2, 2012 at 6:10 am

I have a suggestion to add on to your column. what about: “throw away anything that may remind you of your relationship. Like pictures or gifts. Etc.”?

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rob January 5, 2012 at 4:08 am

Me and my ex became best of friends over the last summer, I had a crush on her all through high school. We could talk for hours, she trusted me with everything and so did i, we both could tell eachother anything. However, she had a boyfriend that she had been dating for the past two years. As things began to get bad for them, she would confine to me about their problems, and I tried helping her and her relationship out. We began to talk and text everyday and hung out more frequently as the summer went on, I had noticed that she began to flirt with me and said stuff that she didnt used to say. She later confessed to me that she had feelings for me and she would definetly want to try things with us if things with her and him didn’t work out. Soon after she told me this, he broke up with her. 3 days later we hung out and ended up kissing, holding hands, ect. We began dating secretly for the next month because she didnt want to be judged for moving on so fast at school.  I had kept my guard up because I didnt want to be the rebound and have her go back to her ex. As time went on she assured me that i wasn’t a rebound, and we began dating openly a month later. I had never felt so comfortable with someone and had so much fun with somebody as I did with her. We spent almost everyday together and she made me feel genuinely happy. About a month into it though, I had noticed she didnt seem nearly as into the relationship as she used to, concerned, i asked her and she told me she had felt as though we had lost our bestfriend ship, which scared her. We began to work on it but it was to late, the next day she said she wanted to take a step back from things and prioritize herself and get our friendship back, she had also mentioned that she wasnt quite stable emotionally from her previous break up. I saw this coming, but agreed to work on our friendship, as we both thought things would fall back into place. Things were great at first, she told me how much she loved me and cared about me, and that she wanted me as her best friend for the rest of her life. We ended up kissing and hooking up twice since the breakup. After the second time, she told me that the only way for her to move on from me is to start talking to other people because her feelings for me were to strong, but she couldnt give me or anybody a relationship. I understood and she asked me to do the same, we made it clear though that our feelings for eachother is something that would never go completely away, we just have to get the timing right. My friend on the basketball team began texting her and i became extreamly jealous. She swore to me that he meant nothing to her and she just talked to him for something to do. I was still bitter and didnt talk to him since. She began talking to him more and i noticed they started talking and hanging out more and more. After  a basketball game two weeks or so since they started talking, they kissed and i saw them even though they thought they were alone. Devestated, I told her how hurt i was and that i loved her. Things got emotional and i asked her if she had a thing with him and she said she would probably put a stop to it. Nothing changed and over winter break they began to hangout everyday and began to like eachother. She said she never wanted to hurt me before but now she was with one of my friends. I have to see them everyday at school and at basektball because she is the athletic trainer so she is at every game and practice. She still says that she will always be my best friend. Things are so awkward now, she texts me every day but in person its like we barely know eachother. I dont know what to do because i felt sick to my stomach seeing the person i have so much feelings for with a friend and teammate of mine, and i feel like everything she ever told me means nothing now.

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Tom Grimwood January 9, 2012 at 3:04 am

I just broke up with my first girlfriend and everything you said about thinking is true, it’s all exactly how I feel. The only problem is we go to the same school and we’re in the same class for one subject. This means cutting the communication will be near impossible, and I’ll have to sit and look at her for hours, it’s going to kill me inside. She quite literally improved my life ‘cos I was a social recluse before I met her and now I’m scared that’s how I’m going to end up again. I’m so sad that it ended, there wasn’t even a reason, she just told me she no longer loved me and she felt sad around me, and then it ended after the best 11 months of my life. I dont even care if you dont think that’s long, but she changed me so much I feel like it’s going to be impossible to get over her. It’s a horrible feeling </3

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Jjtjp January 18, 2012 at 3:32 am

Me and my girlfriend had an online relationship for 2 years. We never had the chance to meet, we were supposed to meet May of this year. :/ We broke up in September, kept telling each other we loved each other till November because she said she didn’t really want a boyfriend, but then we had a fight because this guy from her college kept flirting with her and wouldn’t stop and she just brushed it off and wouldn’t simply tell him off like I asked her too. She had cheated on me before and I was scared that it would happen again. After that, she stopped coming on as much and stop talking to me and saying she loved me and stood me up so many times and let her friends insult me and take the piss out of the past 2 years. I did things to show I was sorry for the fight and to show I still loved her. They took the piss out of me for that and she didn’t tell them to stop. She is now the girlfriend of the college guy, and she still wants to meet me. But I don’t know if I can or if I should because I think it will hurt a lot to know I was with her for 2 years and I have to look her in the face, not kiss her or hold her or anything that I waited 2 years to do. Yet I have to think about her kissing that college guy before they were even dating while me and her were supposed to be working things out. She seems to remind me daily about her new boyfriend and how she wanted to kiss him and she talks about her staying over his place and they’ve been dating just under 3 weeks (Started dating on December 28th). He’s not the nicest of guys and he’s just going to hurt her, they’ve already been having fights and he doesn’t tell her anything. For his media assignment he had to film a sex scene with this girl and he didn’t tell Kate till after, he didn’t even ask her if she was okay with him doing that.

Yet I am labelled as the worst boyfriend even though I never did anything like that to her. I let her closer into my life than I’ve let any other girl and I hadn’t even met her yet. She knows everything about me and I know everything about her. She does this cute ‘Smile Laugh’ and it always makes me smile when she does it. The college guy can’t even call her out on that. :/ I still have strong feelings towards her and I’d still do anything to protect her. She has a go at me for any girls I do anything with, even though we haven’t been together for months. :( She yells at me a lot and takes everything out on me. :( I let her, because I just want her to talk to me like she used to. We used to talk everyday and we were so happy, then she went to college and everything changed and she started hanging out with these people that aren’t exactly the polite and respectful kind and don’t really care for anything besides doing things to piss people off. I worry about her, because she’s never been like that. :( I miss her everyday and I never stop thinking about her. I look at other girls and only see her. I stupidly wait up every night and day because she lives in England and I in Australia so the times are way different, but I wait up just to be yelled at and abused and reminded that some other guy is getting the kisses I waited years for.

Sorry this is a bit long now. But none of this helps, I’ve tried everything. I can say all the things I don’t like about her, but still think she’s amazing, because the things I didn’t like I didn’t care about as she was a better person overall. Everyone says I should be over her by now. But I’m not. She was my first love, and yes it was over the Internet and I’m only 18 and she is 16, we started ‘dating’ when I was 16 and she was 14. I don’t know what to do any more and I’m dreading Valentines day as this will be our first one without each other and decided to meet her earlier than May and we will be meeting up the day before valentines day as she has that day off college. Please give me a little bit more advice than things I have already tried. :( I keep going on dates with girls who are exactly like her, but whenever it’s with someone who isn’t I don’t like them at all and I get bored. Her college guy is pretty much exactly what I used to be like to start with, but then I changed for her because I wanted to and because she wanted a boyfriend who wasn’t stupid and cared about what she thought and wanted in life. I tried my hardest to give her everything, I even helped her in school and sacrificed my own lifestyle so she could keep hers. :( I did everything and she keeps reminding me that I’m nothing and it hurts. I feel empty and I don’t know what to do. Any more advice?

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Spicychick1987 January 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Fell in love with my ex. I screwed up by cheating on him, which was my 1st time cheating, haven’t cheated since then, wasn’t worth it…. Plus I have that personality split. So it caused me to mess up and lose my first true love. He still talk shit about me even over 5 years ago. I don’t blame him. I still can’t get over him tho. I blame my personality spilt…I regretted hurting him. He don’t understand what personality spilt and probably will never understand. Makes me sad and depressed knowing he won’t hear my side of story. But… I am still try move on. Sometimes you can’t just get your ex to listen to your side of story. :-/ He still will always have that special spot in my heart.

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AmieBie January 28, 2012 at 8:43 am

1) What if I never got closure? The last thing we spoke about our relationship was “maybe in a few years…” but it’s getting ridiculous already and I want to move on (I won’t even say how long it’s been)

2) How do I fall in love again? Sounds like a stupid question, I know. But I went into the last one thinking it was just gonna be a one month summer fling but he turned into my first love which I barely realized until the very end. So now I want to follow your advice but I just don’t know how or where to start.

Thanks!

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just_me January 28, 2012 at 4:07 pm

we’re not actually break up. yet. he is my first love, and i’m his second love. he just can’t get over his first. at first they lose contact. which is actually good for him to move on. and we started our relationship with those sparks. but then, his ex came to make up everything. i’m really mad cause he even try to be with her again. saying that even we’re not together, he will always love me. but his ex rejected him. saying that she want to focus on study. but she actually have another guy. but the reason she gave him, giving him another hope on her. ever since that, i felt there’s no special feeling between us. everything seem to fade away. i could feel he is pouring his love to his ex, and not me. he seems to keep the ‘i love u’ that he always said to me every night for her. i know, its his first love but how about me? he is my first one too. but guess i had to move on. i cried myself at first, but now i can actually think that he just not worth my tear. but deep below, i still want to hold on. i don’t know whether to stay or wait for him or give him some time to get over it. seriously, how he can be such a fool?!
-_-

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guest17 January 29, 2012 at 12:18 am

My ex and I who just broke up, I’m a freshman in college and he is 20. I have had previous relationship before and then I met him and fell so quickly. He told me, I was the best thing thats ever happened to him. Sometimes I had a hard time believing him for the sole reason of being hurt. A few days before we broke up, I came to terms that I was completely in love with him and he was in love with me too. The night we broke up, I was checking his phone bill online, and clicked on the wrong thing and it lead me to picture text messages in his phone, ones that he sent and ones that he received. There was pictures from girls and he also sent pictures of himself, and they were naked ones as well. And I called me, and he denied it then I told him I was looking at them and he still did, then he finally said he only did it because one guy text me flirting with me but I showed him and deleted his number. I felt stupid, and I still feel stupid. And right when I found these he has to go to work about 20 minutes, so we didn’t really get to talk about but then I counted the different numbers, he got/sent pictures to 8 different girls, its embarrassing. That morning, before our break up, he send one of the girls a picture of a kiss face and said good morning kisses. I didn’t know what to do with myself. While he was at work, he asked me not to text those girls, and I didn’t because I obviously have more class than that. And then sent me a text that said move on. That hurt me more than anything, knowing he didn’t care. When earlier that day, he saying how much he loved me and never wanted to lose me. My friend has been trying to help me because she just recently went through this. This is so hard, knowing he doesn’t care and that he couldn’t of just broken up with me if he wanted to do this. I would of rather been broken up with than found that. 

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Sady303 January 30, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I know exactly how you feel!! I am sorry

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Badly_hurt - need help! February 17, 2012 at 5:57 am

I’d like to share my story..I just need to express it (Part of moving on maybe?).  

My boyfriend broke up with me just yesterday after a fight.  He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend too.  We’ve been together for almost 10 years but I know him longer than that since we were classmates since our elementary years.  The reason for our break up is complex.. Let me put it this way, first five years of our relationship was great, we were together often (almost everyday).  We do things together.  He was the only bestfriend I ever had (the way I see it).  I choose to go out with him instead of going out with friends.  I loved him more than anything! He meant the whole world to me.  When my last college year came, I warned him that I may devote lesser time to us together since I vie for honors.  He told me he was alright with that.  So I completely thought he understood.  One day, I just received a news that he was courting this girl from school (his classmate).  He didn’t confess it to me, instead, a friend caught him and spilled the whole cheating thing to me.  I was so hurt hearing this at that time since that was the same year when we first get to engage in intimate relationship. In short, “we did it” that year – first time.  I felt so down and harassed.  What’s worse is that when he finally confessed, he told be that he had been drinking, smoking and even took drugs.  Back then, I was so inlove with him, I forgave him.  We went on with the relationship.  After a year, I need to work far away from home, since then we had a long distance relationship.  We’d see each other only maybe twice a year.  But still we continued.  we tried to work things out.  Oftentimes, we’d spend large amounts of money so that he can visit me and do our usual things together.  On our 7th year, he said, he was already exhausted about our relationship and broke up with me because he said I had no more time with him.  But this isn’t true–tired from work, I would fight sleepiness just to talk to him over the phone.  I begged for him not to leave but he still did.  After a month, I tried to talk to him again and begged, this time, we got together again.  Years after this and before the break up yesterday, we would often have fights.  Topics would always be him not finding a job and blaming everybody else for his miserable life.  I wanted to be there for him that’s why I couldn’t leave him.  I love him so much and I gave EVERYTHING to him.  But, yesterday, he just gave up.  I decided not to stop him.. Now, I’m having troubles of moving on.. Our only communication is FB and skype.. He deleted all our pictures together in his profile and removed me as girlfriend.. I’m left off at some point where I don’t even know how to start my life again.  I don’t know what to do, I want to beg for love again but I know, it’s over.  I just can’t throw a 10-year relationship that easily.  What you should I do? Somebody help please.  I need a third party point of view.

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Sammy February 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm

 I am soo sorry about everything and believe me…..I know how you feel. My 7 year relationship ended about 3 months ago. First, Please trust me when I say you will feel better, just be patient and give it time. I chose to reply to you because you expressed exactly how I felt and my ex behaved the same way….I want to help you.
I felt like I could not breathe without him…i gave up all my friends for him…I did everything for him…we even got engaged.
Please pray and devote time to God…have faith that he has a plan for you….you have to believe this.
Be strong in you mind and heart….you deserve what you gave…and don’t think you deserve less…..you deserve someone like you and you will find that person in time.
I am still in love with my ex…..but I love myself more to know that cheating and lying does not go away overnight and I refuse to settle for that…believe me I wanted to go running back…this is their loss, in time they will see it and hurt just like us….trust me….you will see…
I have found God and I truly believe that he made me see what my ex was doing for a reason….I truly believe that if we are meant to be…God will bring him back better and I will find a way to put the past behind…..I also believe that if another man has to replace him, i will be rewarded with 10 times the happiness and I will be able to let go.
So please, just focus on you…..you are important.
My single life so far has been wonderful…I have amazing friends and some strange bu wonderful things happened to me as well.

Please have faith….I promise you will be ok….it is ok to love him….I still do….I am just giving it time…..God will show me the way

He brought you this far and will never leave you …..

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Badly_hurt - need help! February 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Thank you for allotting a bit of your time in replying to my comment.  I really appreciate it.  I guess all I have to do now is believe that everything will be fine.. I really hope I could go through this in one piece..  It’s just that suddenly everything seemed pointless since I have viewed the future as us being together..:(

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Anonymous February 18, 2012 at 7:53 am

I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your site and what you had to offer. I requested 3 to 4 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within 4days Greg’s company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other. Our wedding date is set for Summer 2012. Expect to see your invite in the mail!.thanks to powerful kumar(powerfulkumarspell@yahoo.com)

Thank you! ~ Samantha, United Kingdom, Surrey, England.

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Faith February 18, 2012 at 7:56 am

I completely understand that some people have problems believing in magic and finding the right spell caster (I have been there) but Dr.gboco.(gbocotemple@yahoo.com) is a true practitioner who can REALLY help. Sometimes money is an issue but it is worth spending a few hundred if your problems can be solved. I believe it is a small price to pay. And a word of advice about staying positive…DO IT. When you are ordering a spell STAY POSITIVE during and after the spell work.

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Epitet21 February 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I fell in love for the first time. She was amazing except she was with someone else. We started out as friends and I became her best friend. My feelings for her changed. She asked me if I fell for her and I answered truthfully. She then told me she felt the same way and considered leaving him because they fight all the time.

She confided in me and I did to her. Throughout the days, we texted each other non-stop. I fell in love even more. I started imagining it all. Living with her, snuggling with her. . . everything. She tells me that she did too. I was so happy.

Everything blew up in our face when her boyfriend found out. He was the victim I understand. She said we could still be friends. One night she texted me that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It hurt so much I couldn’t stop crying. I know it was because of him or she’s doing it for him. She’s always talked about how controlling and how easily freaked out he is. I can’t even hate him.

I begged for friendship. She wants to be friends to but her bf won’t let her. We are both depressed and hurting. I feel so lonely. I know we never actually got into a relationship but it hurts so much. I work with her and it kills me to see her sad also. She’s normally one of the most cheerful person you’ll ever meet. I wanted to leave so she can be happy but she said that if I stay it’ll make her happy. Right now, all I want her is to be happy. She doesn’t want to lose me. I’m hurt :(

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Lkw1512 March 9, 2012 at 12:03 am

hello.. my names lauren i am 18years of age and im totaly fucked in the head, i am not over my ex, he has a new gf, i have tried so hard i dont know what to do anymore, i go out every weekend and come home smasbhed pour my heartt out to my mom,best friend they must be so bored of it now i dont no what more i can do, it all started when me and my ex split last year i was 16 when we met, in my local it was perfect he had a job, we always went out there was a issue he did weed which i dont agree with and yeah maybe i did nag but i only wanted what was best for him, his mates never really liked me because they thought i was quite stuck up no… i was just fussy when came to my boyfriend nothink wrong with wanting goood in life.. anyway we went away he met all my family we was with each other every day, we always had amazing sex life we were like best friends but a amzing boyfriend at the same time for valentines he did the most romantic thing ever! he took me to a hotel, champagne,flowers bought me a diamond ring and paid for everythink he got on with my mom which was inpiortantt to me at one point i was livingh with him which didnt bother me aloot of people didnt agree because it was such a young age but i was happy… a few months he changed we wernt getting on he would always go out every weekend but we would be okay the next day we would always be like i love you every night which i think are the most hurtful words love hurts so much i would advise no one to go through that pain… we split up i went out got smashed cane bac to him changing the relationship status man that broke me, it was a shock to everyone now i look back and think where the fuck did i go wrong? i know im young and we al make mistakes but iwas in love, this is causing massive problems for me… hes moved on i still cry at the stupid love songs whats all that about? is that normal its been nearly a year now and im not over my ex, i cant speak to my mom because she dont want to know she wants me to get over my ex but i really wish it was that easy… i have my life ahead of me but always have him in my head, is he really over me? he calls his new gf baby like he use to call me so it makes me think does love exsist? im 18,long blonde hair,i go the gym look after my figure i have a good job and my mom and friends always say i could have anyone i want but thats not the case i wish i could just forget all about my ex!! i have been with 2 lads since my ex but non of them had that spark you know when you meet that someone, words cant describe my pain… everytime i go to wales whre we use to go just wanna break down, we sat on the beach looked up at the stars, saying how much we loved each other i really dont believe he is over me but its hard because no one wants me to go back to him but he did make me happy he did everythink for me…. he was my soulmate always there for me always a phone call away, i was that hurt and upset when we split i had to take my ring back bevause it hurt to much and now i regret it i wanna move on in my life but when i meet someoe i always seem to fuck it up and alwasy think about my ex!! i ask myself every night will i ever get over my ex? i just had to say that bevause i cant speak to anyone else :(

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kareemk March 16, 2012 at 2:56 am

Im sorry to hear that i feel like im in the same boat but i like to believe everything happens for reason so hang in there

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madam vicky October 18, 2012 at 1:11 am

My ex-boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness.I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we are about to get married.once again thank you ultimate spell.you are truly talented and gifted.Email:shamuspiritualtemple@gmail.com is the only answer.he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man shamuspiritualtemple@gmail.com

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IFEELWEAKHELP! March 23, 2012 at 12:38 am

I got a question which i think EVERYBODY can relate to…..im not saying all these tips dont work or arent good, matter of fact they are GREAT. Heres my question…….  It has been 3 years since me and my girl broke up, since then i cant really tell you how many girlfriends i’ve had, i’ve fell in love with 2 other girls the first one lasted 1 year and the other one 1 year and 4 months…..everything was fine i felt the love in the relationship everything was great, i felt somehow like i felt with my first love and i finally realised that you CAN love again and feel all those things you feel with ur first love UNTIL one day….. call it destiny..call it whatever you want i crossed paths with the girl i first fell for and as soon as i saw her, my heart started pounding really hard, my chest started heating up like fire, tears came out of my eyes and i felt WEAK and thats not all she was also crying….we didnt talk for about 5 minutes we just stared at each other and in those 5 minutes i realised that she was the ONLY one for me…..which sux because i thought i was in love with someone else i thought i was over her…… i followed every single step there is to get OVER your ex. but then i hit rock bottom when i saw her after 3 years and so did she……We cant be together because she is too proud and so em i, we both have ”strong” relationships……just last nite i cried for….i dont even know…until i ran out of tears….i was awake all night couldnt sleep i been having dreams about her and me. I wanna get over her BUT I DONT KNOW HOW ANYMORE…….I need help baddly i dont know what else to do….If someone else has been through this and came out victorious let me know SOMEONE tell me something please! 

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Sussy May 1, 2012 at 3:12 am

Soul mates, true love. it must be horrible to be in that position. Not that it isnt beautiful but seems like you guys are either too young or met too early. I bet she feels the same way you do. and Whether she tries to or you try to contact her you will both reject the other until you guys actually decide to talk about you guys.

Tip 1: Dont wait forever, or until she talks to you, you know what they say one day you are here the next day you might not exist. talk to each other to work things out.
Tip 2: Stay positive.

Quick fact: If she has a boyfriend she will use that as an excuse to think she doesnt want you anymore. if she is happy let her be. wait for her to break up with him.

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Socalshocker August 4, 2012 at 3:52 am

If the two of you both feel that way then get back together. You will be unhappy without each other for a very long, long time. Trust me on this one. It sounds like true love. Before you ask her back in you need to read some good books on How to fix broken relationships. A old but good one is “men are from mars women are from venus” but their are others. Do a search. Many out there. You need to know why it didn’t work and fix it. This will take some real sacrifice but if you love each other it will be worth it. As a little tip about women, the little things count, so do them.

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Candice April 7, 2012 at 6:33 am

“Dear Dr. Gboco,      gbocotemple@yahoo.com    Just a few words to tell you my joy! I’m so glad I did this spell with you. Alex and I went out together this week end and we eventually made love together. Since you’ve cast your love spell he really changed towards me, that’s amazing. You made a great work and after all the crap I’ve read on internet about spellcasters, I’m so happy I found you.” 

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Caleb_carter April 10, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I’ve been with this girl for 1 year and 7 months. Nearing our 2nd year together, things became a mess as well as our relationship.  I love her with everything I am. And I felt like my whole world crashing down because I really love her with all my heart. I may seem too young, but this relationship I can say is no PUPPY LOVE. She is actually my first serious relationship. Since in my school I am one of the popular guys, part of the varsity, a very good looking man, smart and rich. I had all the girls, but I really didn’t take any of my past relationships seriously. It would last only for a day, a week, or even an hour. Until I met this girl who changed my life and so as my attitude towards relationships. I met her during the 24 th of February 2010, things happened in a very fast pace.. After 2 weeks of being friends things started out good and we had a thing. On the 18th of May we had our first date and she became mine. Honestly I’m not that inlove with her during our first year together since I really love jumping from one affair to another and I don’t really care much about losing her. Until she changed my heart and I fell deeply inlove with her. I became this romantic guy and I treated her right. I stopped having 3rd parties and became all out in our relationship. I really loved her with everything I am. She made me happy and even showed me that she’ll never give up on me no matter what. There even came a time that I was the one who broke up with her and immediately jumped to another relationship.. But she still showed me how much she loves me and did everything to get me back. She showed me love unconditionally. And I can say that she was so inlove with me. We’ve been through a lot. We have encountered so many problems but still made the relationship work. We defied all odds together. But one problem we had is that we’ve been missing each other a lot everyday. You see, we didn’t have the freedom like other relationships have. Because my parents are so strict that I’m not allowed to go out without a valid reason. That’s why our relationship is hidden. Her friends know about us, but since I really am careful about my parents knowing about it only my bestfriend and 3 other close friends knew. It was so hard since she was the one who gives more effort in order for us to see each other. But I also allot time to exert effort as well. It was hard really. I didn’t get to do what boyfriends should do.. Like taking her home and other basic stuff. But I assure you guys I made myself romantic for her as possible. I still bought her a lot of things, had movie dates with her, wrote her letters, go out on a dinner or lunch with her and did my very best to go to her and escape from the hands of my ever so strict parents. I’m not the nerdy and mama’s boy as you may think.. The truth is I am a troublemaker. Haha. But going back.. We actually see each other 5-7 times a month and that’s it. Until things got a little complicated last December 2011, she met this guy who looks like a total douche bag and he looks like someone born from the horse’s ass. We started having fights about that guy since I heard that they are starting to be close and they are often seen together because they were in the same school.  Btw, she is a 4th year college student, and I’m a 4th year highschool dude. Anyway, so yeah.. I trusted her that they’re just friends but I really was jealous and yeaaah. And then she felt cold and she didn’t treat like she used to. And i believe that it’s not because of the guy we’re fighting about. Maybe she just got tired of me being so far away. Coz it feels like as if we we’re in a long distance relationship even if weren’t actually in one. On the 21st of January 2012… She broke up with me. She said that she isn’t happy anymore and that she’s growing tired of our relationship. She just asked for space coz she was having a hard time balancing time for me and her other priorities coz we were both a graduating student.  I know that this is not about because there’s someone else. At that time I was feeling the same way. But i never have thought of losing/leaving her. I did everything to get her back. And then after 5 days we’re back together again. But things were different and I felt that it isn’t right anymore. So on Feb. 11, 2012 I decided to let her go, I told her that I was letting her go because I don’t want to hold her back. I want her to be happy and that when she’s ready again I will be waiting. I let her go because I knew it was for her own good and for our relationship as well. I said that I will wait for her until everything becomes okay. Actually were just waiting until i get to college because that would be the time that i could spend my eveyday with her. The moment we we’re waiting for. Though I know that on that instant she will be with that other guy I’m jealous of. I risked that because I did it for her. So I tried to move on. At least I’m trying to do that up until now. It’s been 2 months but still I’m still inlove with her. So madly and deeply inlove! :( I still cry every now and then and I don’t know how to handle this situation. We still became friends after the break up but didn’t talk like we used to for 24/7. But i was still hoping and still treated her like she was mine. But she just acted like she doesn’t care about me anymore. And I heard that she was already with the guy I was jealous of.  And then one night I called her and we had a fun time talking with each other.. We talked until morning and then all of a sudden I heard her crying.. She confessed that she was still inlove with me. She told me that I still hold her heart. She told me that she loves me more than she loves the other guy. I was in total shock because I thought that she forgot about me and didn’t love me anymore. She was really crying. She told me that every now and then she still thinks about me and that she still feels hurt and etc. She told me that she felt sad because she still has feelings for me even though she is already with someone else. I didn’t know what to feel. I asked her for a second chance and told her that I will make it up to her for the rest of my life. But she told me that we’re better off this way. That we’re better off apart. I realized that yes it’s better for me and her. I just felt that this time we could be together and make our plans come true since now I’m already experiencing the freedom we were waiting for. But she is already with someone else now, and it’s time to move on. But I don’t know how will I do that. I miss her still. I love her still. I don’t know how will I go on with my life without her. It’s even harder thinking that she is with someone else now. She is my first love and I feel like I’m never gonna stop loving her. What should I do? :( I still want to be friends with her. But everytime we talk, I want more of her. I wanna stop loving her. How will I do that? How will I forget the best thing that ever happened jn my life? How can I just forget the person that I became intimate with, the person that doesn’t have anything to hide from me anymore… If you know what i mean. Should I still wait for her or give up? I want to respect her present relationship. But if I wait for her I’m like putting myself to slavery. Please, help me know what should I do. Actually i have decided to let her go. But i can’t stop myself from hoping. I want to move on. That’s i want right now. I just don’t know how to do it. Any advices there? 

Btw, Thank you for giving out your time!

Sincerely Yours,
Prince

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JohnR April 11, 2012 at 12:27 am

I just met the best thing that happened to my life in England last January 15, 2010. I don’t know how to forget the girl with whom I experienced all of my “firsts” if you know what I mean. My first love and the only girl that I truly loved. Everything was okay but the problem is our relationship was hidden. That’s why we couldn’t see each other often. We see each other maybe 5-7 times a month. And that’s it. We survived that for 1 year and 7 months. Maybe she just got tired of feeling like in a long distance relationship even if we were not in one. She broke up with me and i begged her to stay. She did, but things seemingly got worse. I decided to give her time to think about it and find herself again. The day I let her go I asked her to wait for me just for 2 months, because I will be graduating already and things will be different from then on, I will be having the freedom of doing the things a boyfriend should do. I let her go because I realized that it was for her and our relationship. Another problem is that We’ve been fighting about her close friend since things are becoming good between them. That came into my mind and was holding me back. I risked that possibility of her being with that son of a bitch. The day that I let her go I knew that that would happen. So tried and forced myself to move on and forced myself to believe that they were already together. And so it came true, she is with that guy now a month after our break up. It hurts me to think that she left me when she promised she wouldn’t. It hurts me that when we talked to each other last week she told me that she’s still inlove with me. (and I believe she really is) but she told me that it’s better if she will be with that guy. The truth is.. She’s right. Btw, She is 6 years older than me. She just graduated college and I’m a freshman. I don’t know how will I forget her. I respect her present relationship and I don’t want to lose the friendship we have. But I wanna stop loving her.how will I do that? How will I forget my first love? How can I stop caring just until I move on? How will I stop thinking about her? It even hurts me to know that she is with someone else now. Help me. I just want her out of mind.

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Haleighboo8 July 14, 2012 at 7:40 pm

its been 3 years… i can not get over him i have tried dating again ive tryed being single ive tried to just hangout with other friends. he was my best friend for 6 years before we got together i had my first kiss with him and he was my first love and i cannnot seem to get over him. i have tried talking to people i have tried keeping it to myself but i cannot get over him…

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Pncr220 July 24, 2012 at 8:25 pm

i cant get my first love of over 30 years ago out of my heart,im married now and love the one im with,we have a family ,ill never leave my wife,but if i wasnt married i would want my first love but she is also married .,,over the past 30 years i have these times i get so sad i cant stand it ,i cant sleep,i dont even wanna eat ,,i know in my heart i still love her ,or i wouldnt b thinking about her all the time wondering how she is ,if shes getting treated right,i start pacing like its urgent then i start to cry which last a long time ,i care deeply about her and havent seen her in over 30 years ,,am i a nut case

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Tatianakceja August 3, 2012 at 2:57 am

Ugh I’m dealing with that too! Maybe we are both nuts!!!

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Duolly August 26, 2012 at 7:18 am

I had been having problems maintaining relationships long term. For reasons not known to me at the time every relationship l had kept failing. Guys just left me with no valid reason. When my last one failed l felt l had to seek help. How could l keep letting this happen? Vudoo spell caster quickly did a consultation for me and found out there were problems with me, l had somehow had a curse on me that prevented me from having lasting relationships. With his help and dedication we got rid of the curse. He cast me a lost love spell and a binding love spell. The most amazing part was that the result it 4 days and my man is back in my arms. The vudoo spell caster was there to reassure me and to make sure my financial life was secured. He immediately got to work to resolve any problems.
If you are having problems in any aready of live, i would advice you meet this spell caster through his email vudoospell@gmail.com, i met him through a co-worker who knew about my problems. and now am free for good and happy.

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Queeneth Abell September 12, 2012 at 4:42 am

what a wonderful world we are living, i still wonder this spell caster how he did it!!!
My mouth is full of testimony, Am Queeneth Abell my husband left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist,he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch be the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called obeduneedospelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband. Dr Iyaryi of obeduneedospelltemple@gmail.com is the best spell caster in the whole wild world.

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scott October 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

i am a high school grad now but me and my ex where together from the end of junior year to after high school we split sept 21st (on her birth day). she broke up with me cuz truly i lied alot… i never cheated on her or hung out with other girls, but my lies where honestly sense the very start of us going out… see before we met i was they guy who would talk and flirt with girls on and off facebook… until one day i got a message from her saying i was cute (pretty cheesy i know) but when i saw her pic i thought she was so sooooooo beautiful and we right away hit it off and wanted to see each other… before even meeting her we talked a lottttt and like a lot of ppl do i lied alot about the things i did like i said i snow boarded and painted (corny little things like that where super dumb to lie about) but i also lied big time about something idk why i even lied about and thats saying that i have had sex before…. which i never did… after 2 weeks of knowing her i asked her out on may 7th… she said no but the next day she texted me saying yes and that she wanted to be with me things where perfect and we where so happy… saddly i did jump to fast into things that never should of happened so fast and that is sex about alittle over a month… it was both our first times but she didnt know that cuz of my stupid god damn lie… things where great though tell 5 months in she started to feel super insecure about the sort of girls i liked before her (like katty perry looking girls)… i would honestly tell her the truth and say i dont care about what i liked before and tell her that she is so beautiful to me and i would choose her over anyone… but she never really got over it… i fell in love (like trully in love with her) about 3 months into us dating but even before that i would still say i loved her not nesseserly meaning it but i did really like her…about a little after are one year i told her the truth on that big lie i told her… at first she was so happy and i felt like a huge wall that i had build of lies went crashing down and it felt so good… but with that brought new problems cuz honestly i loved her with all my heart but finding out i lied to her over a year when i was in love with her wasnt the right type of love i should of given her…. 16 months is how long we lasted tell she broke up with me and i honestly want to just go back and time and beat the shit out of my self for all the lies i told but that will never happen… i feel like she still loves me and i really do still love her but i want her to be happy i trully do and i will be leaving to the air force in a month and i dont want to even put her through that knowing now she has the least bit of trust for me…. i still cry myself to sleep ever night wishing her back… we still talk time to time and i tell her i will always have some sort of love for her and that i hope in the future that faith will bring us back together, but i know she dosnt want me anymore…. she treated me like a king and i wronged her… i want her to find someone who will love her as much as i do and always be truthful to her no matter what… i can care less of what happens to me cuz i honestly dont think i could find someone who can make me happy as she did (even if that does sound dull)…. i have learned my lesson and if i ever get another shot at her again or anyone i know for a fact i wont fuck it up…. she was my first everything and i will never forget her.. my love

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Josh October 26, 2012 at 2:36 am

This is the article i been looking for .I’m in the same boat i dated this girl on and off for 2 years in 03 .I was young and somewhat immature i didnt appreciate this girl almost to the point.To where when i finally did want to show my appreication and love it was to late .It’s soo true you really don’t know what you got till its gone Now its 7 years later and i’m still thinking about her.Sure i’ve dated other woman since than but shes the only one i keep thinking about.She keeps creaping into my mind i just a few months back found out she was getting married in Sept.It’s crazy now because i just got a job with fedex and part of my route is near where she used to live .Like its like all the flood gates opened up .i can’t stop thinking about it all the emotions i thought i could drown out .Are surfacing its madness i still love and its very strong feelings i know that if i were to run into her in person.i wouldn’t know what to do .I know the guy she wounde up with was the guy i last seen her with .When we split up and she wasnt really into him like that .I probably could of gotten her back now its too late we’ll never know just by being on here though.I can live with it better and not beat myself up over it i’m allowing myself ot become more understanding of it .I want to love again i want to find a person that has a similar personality to her’s .This time so i know how to treat the situation better ..I lived now im finally starting to learn even though its very hard to do after 7 years

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Kell November 27, 2012 at 6:19 am

Regards to this spell lady call Priestess Ifaa she is so awesome. She told me that my boyfriend would have a hard time being away from me when he moved away 2weeks ago. She also told me that he would be back, there would be a celebration and that he would be living with me. 2days I received a call from him saying that he was coming back and that he wants to stay with me!! That is so incredible! priestess Ifaa is great. She tells it how it is, she is truthful and honest and it would be worth anyone’s time to contact her just as i did through her email on priestessifaa@yahoo.com. It was one of the best choices that I ever made and I will continue to appreciatel her. She has given me a great deal of peace of mind during this very long 2 weeks. Thanks Priestess

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Simonedaze December 10, 2012 at 8:30 am

My first ever love.. I’m now 21, we met when I was 19 years old. I was young when we dated, he was a great guy we made amazing love. A rocky relationship our last year, I cheated on him a couple times not being considerate. Our relationship ended in an assault charge because of our insecurities and jelousy. Beyond the court system an under our parents noses we were seeing each other or a couple more months. He begged for me back I gave in. He really brought the bad out of me to a point where I felt like I was goin crazy ad considered I had a mental disorder. Just tonight I went to the extreme to hack his profile, he reacted we fought crazy over the phone and share some hurtful things. He moved on an met a girl, as he makes it sound like she’s perfect. I’m left alone, hopeless and hurt. Could this be karma or a very powerful lesson in life. I’m now seeking professional help and reading articles like this to help me get by. I feel like he dosent care anymore, yet everyday I think of him. Now here I am alone in my room, unsure what to do or what to do. I’m content to know he moved on an makes me want to strive harder in life. Things happen or a reason ad this reason is unknown. Give me some feedback and let’s support each other.. Cheers to the Broken hearted , let’s turn this pain into happiness!

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natasha January 17, 2013 at 6:41 pm

I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About 2 year ago I my partner had misunderstanding, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your email: voodoafricapower@yahoo.com on a site about what you have done. I requested 1 to 2 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within 3days frank company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other I can’t really thank you enogh Dr Okoja.

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Chicago March 11, 2013 at 1:16 am

I lost my ex to an addiction with pornography and masturbation. When he told me about it, my initial reaction was to break up, but I loved him and wanted him in my life. I thought we could get through it. After 6 months of working on it, and of course maybe I could have done other things to help him, but I have the confidence to realize that no matter how I handled it, it was still his decision and his actions to change–he ultimately decided to breakup with me, and gave me a list of reasons about how I wasn’t good for him in the relationship, and refused to recognize that he even had a problem. And as if it wasn’t hurtful enough to realize that the man I was willing to spend the rest of my life with sacrificed that to be with himself, he seems intent on lashing out at me by showing up where I am with another woman, who we had actually befriended together. Anyway, I appreciated the video and the other materials I’ve found here. It’s helping me to put things into perspective and realize many things about him and about myself.

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